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Jamoza

Thanks for your post. I am quite happy with social distancing - the phrase and doing it. I am afraid I am the opposite of you. I am socially further apart from everyone. I suppose "social and physical distancing" would have been more accurate, but that would be too long for the "stay home" creators.

Malone

I loved the nappies clue, should the other one have been coarser? I leave that to Jigjag to solve.

malone

I liked the clues and they reminded me that I must ring Ivan Napple. I am sure he will have re-opened but I dont want to go out just yet.

tyke

When you cut your pike in half, I will know it is safe to go out. Glad football is back and enjoyed the Italian masterclass yesterday. As usual the bit of luck is missing. Sorry Rovers did not get the chance of promotion

Grunger,

Glad the (nap)pies satisfied you. Yes, Jigjag's clue should have been 'coarser' - sorry about that!

Maybe we could all be SAPID - Social And Physical In Distancing? I quite like the idea of being 'agreeable' and 'exhilarating'.

It is 3 months since the market closed, but some stalls have re-opened. I rang Ivan Napple and was pleased to find that he was back and delighted that he was doing deliveries.

“I deliver for regulars who are isolating and self-distancing” he said rather confusingly. “I put your order in bags in a box on the doorstep, ring the bell and could you take the bags and leave the box, I need it.”

It sounded straightforward and I placed an order then asked if he had any zucchini.
“Zoo what?” he asked, so I spelled it out for him, literally. “Ah, zoo-chee-ni, those cucumber things, yes I’ve got a few.”

I asked if he had heard about the recent honour Malone had conferred on me, Grand Master with a low salary.

“What, no celery? I’ll put some in”.

It is so difficult on the phone and I can’t wait to get out.

Jigjag,

Our earlier posts crossed. I was relieved that my missing letter didn't stop you solving the clue.

It was lovely - and very interesting - to hear your Ivan Napple story. I feel I've got to know him so well over the last year or so. The celery/salary point reminded me of our ongoing trials and tribulations with homophone clues. There was one of those over the weekend - Tampa and Tamper … a dodgy one for me.

I've always observed two metres. One's for the gas and the other's for the electric.

Malone

So glad you enjoyed the story. I agree about the homophone clues. The Tampa/tamper one works for me as most of them do, with my flat vowels, but I know for most people they usually dont. I liked your sapid posting, you are always exhilarating.

Orson

Good joke, I hope they dont extend it to 3 metres to cover the water one.

Orson

Liked the joke - I was a property lettings agent at one time - one of my tasks was reading the meters. An owner queried one of my readings so I arranged to meet her at the property so we could both agree on the figure. The electric meter was an old one where the dials alternated from clockwise to anti-clockwise - this can lead to confusion at times. Sadly the owner took umbrage because her reading was wrong - and she didn`t take kindly to me showing her how to read the meter correctly!

Jigjag

Everton nearly pinched the game but I think a draw was a fair result - it does seem strange with empty grounds. Donny are wanting us to donate refunds due for any season tickets for last and next season to the club - I`ve not renewed yet, think we need to know what`s happening first!

Malone

I agree with the posts on various threads that you are erudite, eminent and exhilarating. I didnt like the homophone either. Tampa has a very short "a" at the end, and Tamper has a long errrrrrrrrr" for me.

I am very impressed that you know where the tractor boys play.

jigjag

Liked the story and hope you get a safe delivery.

Orson

liked your joke

Tyke

Glad football is back. I know that a lot of fans have donated season ticket refunds. I read that Everton fans have donated £200,000 to the club for charity. Incredible generosity of jigjag and others.