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On a related note, in this part of east Lancashire, "I were" and "you was" is much more common than the other way round. Chambers would argue that it has become valid usage!

Malone

I was surprised to receive a telegram from New York:

"Second name Yo. Please amend clue from U to You. Solution is 4,2,8. Yours clueingly, ER"

jigjag

Why has the Queen sent U a telegram? I thought U got one on 100th birthday. And I dont think she likes tennis, and so wont send anyone a message?

Jigjag, thanks for your latest clue - I will tackle it once I have finished my current project. That one is a pleasurable task, deciding how I could (wlll) spend $2.5 million. (I've set aside a few hundred for you, by the way - for some state of the art jeans and a state of the art mobile phone.)

Malone

That's very generous of you. I really must go to M&S for jeans and visit the market cafe.

Malone

I see that Emma wore a dress and trainers to the celebrations, and wore the same trainers on American TV. Perhaps you could allocate some of your 2.5m dollars for a pair of shoes for her. I like her jeans though - no rips - jigjag please note.

Grunger,
Yes, I saw that Emma wore a dress and trainers - a bit odd, but probably healthier and safer than a pair of high heels. Her unripped jeans were pretty smart. I'm sure Jigjag will look just as fetching when (if?) he gets round to buying a new pair.

Jigjag.
I didn't solve your latest clue. I had a brief attempt the other day, then forgot about it. I have been a little distracted, trying to track down what I think is a new supermarket, perhaps just a small chain. My sister has sent me a few glowing reports on bread, coffee, pizzas, pastries etc. The phone line is always a bit crackly, I think the place she goes to now is called something like Artie San, Artie San's? Just yesterday she told me she'd had the most incredible goats cheese and sun-dried tomato quiche - when I asked where she'd got it, she said, 'You know, that Artie San place on the High Street, next to Poundland.'

Malone

Thanks for the report on Artie San. I have never heard of it and dont know if there is one here. Goats cheese and sun-dried tomato quiche - wow - but there has been no sun to dry the tomatoes recently. Perhaps they were tumbled-dried, that might make them tasty and give some texture. I like Poundland, though I always get a funny look when I ask an assistant how much something is.

I know you dislike football but you may have heard that Cristiano Ronaldo has re-joined Manchester United. According to the Times he has quinoa and avocado (several plates of it) in the canteen. No doubt you have been advising him on diet.

I hope to go to the market cafe tomorrow, no quinoa there, and I will make enquireies abiout Artie San.

malone

You are right that heels are definitely not for the sportswoman. She certainly does not want to take a risk at the start of her career. I think she can afford a few more tennis dresses now, as she wore the same one in every match.

I loved the Artie San piece, definitely no branch here. Quiche is not for me, I prefer the goats cheese and tomatoes on toast. I would love to try their pies though. I bet they have a big range of exotic fillings.

Grunger,

Glad you enjoyed hearing about my (super)market research. Artie San - and Artie Sanal - produce is appearing all over the country. It started with bread and coffee... who knows where it will all end?

Emma R was wearing a very fancy outift at the Met Gala (the biggest night of the fashion year, though it's passed me by for decades). You might be pleased to hear that she wasn't wearing trainers, but the footwear looked distinctly odd - very black, very shiny, very pointed, wedged boots. I think I preferred the trainers!

I'm sure you saw the clue in a recent puzzle -:
See woman work in 'errors' section (9).
The answer is rather ... unattractive to me.