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Tyke51

I am now officially appointing you as 'Byeded Commisioner'. If you see or hear that word, you have the authority to … do whatever you like to the offender.

It's kind of you to give 'have catched' the benefit of the doubt. I think I'd be less so … unless it was 100% obvious that it was being done for comic effect.

Grunger, Malone
I have just had my first visitors of the evening. I opened the door to find 3 figures covered in white sheets. “Ah, ghosts” I said.
“Not quite, trick or treat?” a female voice replied.
“I’ll have a treat”, I suggested optimistically, but they chanted:

Three little Ghostesses
Eating beans on toastesses
Sitting on their assesses
Latte in their glassesses

Hairdresseresses, Shepherdesses
Blacksmithesses, Couldn’t-care-lessesses

Three little Ghostesses
Eating beans on toastesses
Captcha-ing their postesses

“That was delightful, but where did you learn it? “ I enquired.
“We were taught it by Orson, and some other crossword fans have made a few changes.”

I turned to pick up my bucket of sweets, but when I turned back, the ghostesses had disappeared into the night.

Jigjag

Thanks for that - a wonderful Halloween treat!* I - and many others, I'm sure - appreciate the time and effort that must have gone into that. Even though I'm no fan of the '-esses', I enjoyed seeing how many you managed to cram in!

* And no trickery was involved in its creation.

PS. For a touch of nostalgia, here's one from guisers (definitely NOT trick-or-treaters) in the 1960s...

Ah'm an Aberdonian
Ah come fae Aberdeen.
Ah'm only here tae ask ye
Fur mah Halloween.

jigjag

That's wonderful - lovely to see all those -esses that we have been talking about put together. It also scans well - great effort to get the rhythm flowing- many thanks.

Malone, Grunger

Glad you enjoyed it. The original poem, by Kamil Fra, was posted by Orson a few weeks ago when we talking about various -esses. It seemed a good idea to expand it to include the food and other items that people have mentioned.

Malone

I like your poem - I am working on the translation.

tyke51
I live in the part of Lancashire that was forcibly transferred from Yorkshire in the local government reorganisation in the 70s (they still can't put "Welcome to Lancashire" signs on the road, as they are thrown over the hedge - instead it's just "Welcome to the Borough of Pendle").
One of the reasons that the locals objected so much is that it is well-known that Lancashire is wetter than Yorkshire!

Malone

I`m grateful and proud to accept the office of `Byeded Commisioner` ... offenders may find themselves wided and no-balled !

Jigjag

I couldn`t help but notice that Liverpool was awash with what appeared to be`scary witches` last Saturday - is it Halloween all year round in that fair City?🎃

Chrise

Uncanny ? I think the ladies of Pendle must have gone to Liverpool for some retail Therapy!

Tyke

The Halloween period seems to last about a week in Liverpool. You certainly see some sights on a night out. The girls are either dressed as witches or hardly dressed at all. We also have the dreaded "mischief night" (last night) - lots of reports today of mindless vandalism, I reget to say.

I not heard of a batsman being "leg-byeded" yet but if you hear it, please consider it to be in your job specification to take appropriate action!

Only four trick-or-treaters so far, all at the same time.

I heard a great exchange on the radio this morning - Popmaster on Radio2. The presenter (not the usual one) asked the contestant what he was doing later.
"I'm helping my daughter dress up for Halloween"
"What is her costume"
"A little witch"
"And is she one?"
"No, she's four"......