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Malone, Grunger, Tyke

You will be disappointed to hear that I did not get the Bedroom Assistant job. Ida Down of the Glitz Hotel rang with the bad news this morning.

The short-listed applicants had been given a trial, and she gave me the feedback about my interaction with guests.

“You have received compliments from a Scottish woman and a dancer from Lancashire. A foreign gentleman, Signor Howerd from Pompeii hoped that you will “keep it up” as it were” she chuckled.

I don’t know what’s so funny, and despite all the fuss about a male-only short-list, they gave the job to a lady from Doncaster, Sheila Blige. She had glowing references from a cricket-loving Yorkshireman.

I am sure she will make a brilliant Bedroom Assistant but what qualities has she got that I haven’t?

Jigjag

I was actually relieved to hear that you hadn't got the Bedroom Assistant job. I feel there are too many connotations around the terminology - I can imagine a raised eyebrow every time someone says. 'What do I do? Oh, I'm a Bedroom Assistant'. It was good that you received favourable comments, these must be heartening.

I've been thinking of various career options for you, as you seem to be looking for a change. Would you like to be a Prof - Peripatetic Relisher Of Food? This would involve a fair amount of travelling, and a fair amount of food-tasting. These are things you appear to do just now, wandering from market to fast food outlet to little cafes. Application forms will soon be available online, so just let me know if you are interested.

Jigjag

Commiserations on not getting the Bedroom Assistant job. Signor Howerd is obviously impressed with the way you rose to the challenge! Don`t despair, Sheila has experience in many positions where `customer satisfaction` is a priority, and always seems to provide that `little extra` when required.

jigjag

Sorry to hear that, but Malone and Tyke have given you some good advice. I am sure your talents would have been wasted in that role and I hope you will find something soon.

I agree with Malone that something to do with food would be appropriate, possibly as a critic. If you go to the market cafe soon, I would love to hear about it.

Malone
Great idea - I would love to be a Prof. How about Emeritus Professor Inspecting Cafes? Better than peripathetic music teacher that I once was!

Tyke
Thanks for your encouragement. I love those double entendres!

Grunger
Yes, busy day today. I am going to the market soon, and then Everton this evening.

jigjag
Do you support Everton or Man City. I enjoyed the game on TV - City are very good but we (Wigan) beat them a couple of years ago in the Cup. Did you go to the market?

Jigjag

Shame has kept me away from this thread. I didn't know that Everton was an actual place, I've always thought it was just the name of a team. Sorry about this great example of my ignorance in some areas!

Yes, you'd make a great EPIC - and I quite like the acronym being the start of the word 'epicure', something that, surely, could be applied to you? (It's great to know that all your Big Macs and poached eggs on toast haven't gone unnoticed.)

Grunger
I support Everton. I too enjoyed the game, though not the result. Yes I did go to the market and cafe. I can do a report if you like.

Malone
I am pleased you have heard of Everton! It is a district of Liverpool, and the football club originally played there but for the last 100 years or so they have played at Goodison Park in the neighbouring district of Walton.

The Everton Public Library is a magnificent Grade 2 listed building, now derelict. Well worth a look if you are ever in the area.

I love your "epicure". I only got as far as "epic". Perhaps it should stand for Emeritus Professor Inspecting Cafes Using Refrigerated Eggs. I like fresh ones and I find many cafes use refrigerated ones which are often well out-of-date. The market cafe only uses fresh eggs. Actually, I am not sure if they have a fridge.

jigjag

That would be great. What did you think of the Times clue today. "Be endlessly agitated..................". I thought the split infinitive meant it did not work. The correct "Be agitated endlessly................" would have worked, I think.

Jigjag/EPICURE

The Everton Library sounds lovely...but it's unlikely that I'll ever see it. I've never been to Liverpool - I have nothing against the city, I've just never had a reason to go there.

I would ban refrigerated eggs, the subject of many arguments with friends, my mother, my sister, my daughter … over the years.

I really hope the market cafe does have a fridge, I wouldn't fancy warm milk or butter that hasn't been refrigerated overnight.

Grunger

You've chosen the one day I haven't done the Times puzzle to discuss a clue. I think your version of that clue sounds fine, but I have to say that split infinitives don't bother me unduly. (In some areas, I've mellowed over the years.)