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Rosalind, your worms and fried grasshoppers meant that I had a smaller than usual lunch today, not necessarily a bad thing.

PS What's wrong with the recycled polyester jumpers? I have noticed that many shops stock these just now - the huge sign saying 'recycled polyester' didn't seem very alluring.

Sorry about your lunch malone. You can always make up for it later.

These recycled jumpers were scratchy and the sleeves long enough for others of the Great Ape family. And somehow the neck bunched up at the back. I decided to knit my own from now on and am investigating using fibre from nettles except the scratch factor may go off the scale.

You know the ditty "Go clothe your lower limbs in pants"? Applies even more to onesies. Anyone over 12, size or age, does not look divine as they advance or from any other perspective.

Do tell about this afternoon's visit to M&S jigjag, if you get out alive.

Malone

Delighted to accept your unwanted sprouts which I will distribute to the deprived people of the North. I trust you were not responsible for the recent accident in Rosyth ...

... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qm72rOjMU9I

Jigjag

There must be a story behind Duncan`s `weather-proof` shirt ... footballers are known to be a superstitious bunch! Perhaps he removes an article of clothing whenever you score - all the ladies will be hoping you keep knocking the goals in!

Tyke

I'm relieved to get rid of the sprouts. The accident in Rosyth was nothing to do with me, though I'd have liked to have seen the carnage.

When 'Big Duncan' was first mentioned, I had no idea who he was - I thought he was perhaps being lined up to be the next Labour leader. I now see the sporting connection … which is of even less interest. Sorry!

PS Maybe the women, as well as the 'ladies' will be looking for plenty of goals.

Malone

I thought you were our `Apostrophe Lady`

Tyke, I am 100% definitely NOT a lady, and I abhor the use of the word when there's a perfectly valid alternative, 'woman'. If I had a real title, I would reconsider.

PS As you'll have gathered, it's one of my (many, many) pet hates!

Malone

I`ve had a lot of fun posting on PU and reading other comments but, since I don`t seek confrontation, this is my last post.

jigjag

I think you might be "regular" rather than the others.

We pronounce it mo-gee-toe here. Avoids Spanish pronunciation and flies.

Rosalind

I have just returned from M&S. I found Isla and asked if she had any asparagus tips. "Certainly" she replied:

Tip 1 - Always buy it in season.
Tip 2 - As it is not in season at present, why not try our chocolate-covered asparagus - much nicer than the sprouts.

I thanked her for the advice and told her that I had been ticked off for using words like gryllidae and diptera.

"No problem. Do you need any more assistance today."

I told her that I had come in to buy some butterfly cakes.

"Of course. I will take you to the lepidoptera department" she chuckled.

grunger

I am indeed regular, but not in the sense you mean. My mother used to give us syrup of figs to make us so.