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stevea6000

Thanks - I am glad there are 3 of us taking on the metric monsters

Malone

I am sorry that J Ree-Smogg has not contacted you - you should have been the first Pedant he enlisted!

I was surprised to receive a beautifully handwritten letter from him, addressed to "Ms. G. R. Unger", with lots of full-stops and double spaces. I could not bring myself to tell him that I do not accept "Ms", with or without a full-stop. I don't mind Miss or Mrs or whether there is a full-stop or not.

He invited to me to join his "Imperial Measures Focus Group", the aim of which is "to deliver the undeliverables in a focussed or focused format".

I have no idea what this means but it is clearly unacceptable, even if he will not allow us to use this word.

Good luck with the "Weasel Words" campaign.

Grunger

Lucky you, being the recipient of a letter from Jacob. I hope you subjected it to intense scrutiny, to make sure he leads by example?

The 'Imperial...' organisation might have attracted more attention if they'd declared themselves IMPS, Imperial Measures Preservation Society.

I'm your total opposite when it comes to Mrs, Miss or Ms. I heartily dislike the first two, finding them surplus to requirements. I dislike the sound of the third one, but it's the least offensive. Having said that, I use titles only when writing to ageing relatives (ie, those over 70). Fortunately for me, most of my friends and family do exactly the same - for 50 years we've coped with letters marked 'M. Alone' or 'Mary Alone'. Part of this is down to my mother - I've never recovered from the shock and horror of her sending me to school with a sick note which she'd signed 'Mrs John Malone'. I was only 10, but felt then that this was just … wrong!

Malone

I like the IMPS - clever.

The biggest problem I have is addressing letters to companies, usually after I have complained about something and received a reply from, say, Alice Green, Customer Service Manager.

Do I write to Mrs Green or Miss Green. I wont use Ms or Alice.

Even worse it is sometimes from say, Sam Smith. Is that Mr, Mrs or Miss.

Of course I will in future address it to Sam Smith Esq. and he/she can complain to J R_M

grunger, malone

I have also received a letter from JRM. t was addressed to J.Igjag Esq. which was nice as I have not been esquired for many years.

He invited me to join his Panel Investigating Focussed Focused Loose English. That seems rather a clumsy name, possibly unacceptable. He says that he has invited Mistress Grunger to join the Panel and would like to invite Malone as well, but he does not know how to address her. I have replied that I think "Dear Malone" would suffice and have urged him to take urgent action, as the recent proliferation of gots, gets and weasels is troubling me.

Jigjag,

Although I really like 'PIFFLE', the longer name is definitely clumsy, clunky and totally unacceptable. I tut and shake my head when companies, people, charities, whatever, do this in the real world - ie come up with a string of words to fit the neat or amusing acronym. (Yes, I am indeed very harsh at times!)

You're correct to say that 'Dear Malone' would be a suitable salutation from JRM. 'Dear Mary Malone' would be acceptable too. After a suitable period, perhaps three months, I would advise JRM that 'Dear Mary' would be permissible. I liked your 'Mistress Grunger', wonderfully archaic.


Grunger
Lack of space means I'll reply to you separately.

Grunger
Glad you liked IMPS.

I've received a few business-type letters that begin 'Dear Mary Malone'. I thought that looked rather odd the first time, but I've got used to it - and definitely prefer it to 'Dear Mrs...', or 'Dear Miss...'. I use neither title in real life, so don't need or want them in correspondence. 'Dear Ms..' is tolerable, but only just. I think what we need is a brand new word for addressing people in correspondence. I've had a few ideas...

Pus Grunger - Person of Unstated Sex. This was discarded for several reasons. The first is that it sounds singularly off-putting, the second is that it would re-ignite the 'sex' v 'gender' debate.

Pug Grunger - Person of Unstated Gender. This too sounds rather off-putting, reminding me of those unattractive little dogs.


Pusogaums Grunger - Person of Unstated Sex Or Gender And Unstated
Marital Status. Yes, it's rather clunky, isn't it?

Per Grunger - Per(son) Grunger. I think this'll do perfectly, it's suitably respectful and shouldn't offend anyone. I wonder who I can get to spearhead a campaign to effect the change?

Malone

I am glad you like Mistress X, which I though I would resurrect. I have only heard it used twice. Dr Cameron (in Dr Finlay's casebook) used it, and I remember Mistress Quickly when we did Henry IV, Part I at school.

I am pleased that it would take you at least 3 months to allow JRM to become personal with you.

I love all the stuff you wrote to Grunger. Quite brilliant and had me in stitches. I am sure she will love it too, even though she is very much a Miss/Mrs person.

Per Jigjag,

I thought I should start using the new term immediately, so that we get to accept it as the norm. I hope you're remembering that any personal relationship with JRM applies only to designations.


I'm glad you enjoyed the Pug/Pus/Per stuff. I hope Mrs or Miss Grunger does too.


I have fond memories of Dr Finlay, but I don't remember any mistresses. Sorry, I felt a little double entendre wouldn't go amiss (and I can bung in a pun now too. My cup runneth over).

Re: Mr, Mrs ... Having first initial S, at times Mr. S Xxxx has become Mrs. Xxxx.

More importantly, my Ikea breakfast this week was ruined by the sign staring me in the face while I was eating: "This coffee machine is going through it's cleaning cycle." Grrr.