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orson and chrise

BBC people also keep talking about stonewall penalties in football. This came about a few years ago when a pundit said "stone wall" instead of "stone cold". The error has been allowed to continue.

Jigjag, Grunger, ChrisE, Orson … et al, thanks for all the posts. I've been away for a few days and now that I'm back, I've enjoyed catching up on all the funny, informative and interesting points raised.

grunger

Funnily enough, I have also been away for a few days (work, not visiting supermarkets with Malone unfortunately). There was no need to apologise. When Malone mentioned the "plant kitchen", it seemed feasible, and I went to M&S to ask about it. I was expecting an area of plants (I know they have them at Christmas) not a small fridge.

Malone

Hope you had a good break and that you spotted some items of interest to Pedants. I enquired at the market about the ladies you mentioned. Rose Hip has got a new job in an upmarket florists, and Cherie is touring Europe with an ex-PM. Anna is still working for Ivan as a fruit arranger. I had an interesting chat with him and I must do a report.

Jigjag, your frequent trips to the market lead me to think that the 'Plant Kitchen' would be an ideal shopping location for you. I was sorry to hear that the M & S branch you visited featured only a small fridge. Still, if you continue to visit the market, chances are you will soon be very proficient in relocating apostrophes. Greengrocers are, I believe, responsible for many of the error-strewn notices - 'Pear's 5 for £1', for example.

Malone

Yes, I do enjoy my trips to the market. There are many interesting people there. I went last Saturday hoping to speak to the Cockney greengrocer, Ivan Napple.

As I entered, I could hear shouts of “Fiver day, get yer fiver day”, so I knew he was there. I enquired about mushrooms, as I wanted to in on the mushrooming Vegan craze.

“Sorry, sold out. Same yesterday. It’s because of that TV programme. Ggregg Wallace says you can cook them so they taste like steak. Of course, he used to be a greengrocer, so you think he would know the difference.”

“He used to deliver to this market many years ago and his enthusiasm drove you mad. He said he could turn chickpeas into chicken, now it’s mushrooms into steak. What is he – a magician?”

“Talking of magic, a couple of dodgy characters were here earlier asking about magic mushrooms. That must be the sort Ggregg was talking about.”

“They are something different. Don’t try them or you will be seeing things”, I replied.

“I‘ve seen enough of mushrooms …. and Wallace” he said.

jigjag

thats amusing and informative. I didn't know GW was a greengrocer. I thought he was a food expert.

Orson - my pet hate too. Even my step-daughter rhymes it with 'fromage' (although she is immediately corrected). It ranks alongside using 'of' in place of the verb 'have' for me.

Jigjag, thanks for another entertaining and amusing market report. I hadn't realised that Mr Wallace - aka Girning Gregg - had had such an interesting life. As I dislike steak as much as I dislike mushrooms, I will never be able to verify the claims about the taste factor. Ivan Napple speaks for many of us when he says 'I've seen enough of … Wallace'.

It is interesting that "Pedants" are mentioned in an article on Page 3 of The Times today. It is about the use of -ize endings by Prince Charles. I prefer -ise.

"-ise" is a no-brainer (if you forgive the expression). All of these words can have "-ise", but not all can have "-ize". If one always uses "-ise" one doesn't have to remember which are which!