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Jigjag

Thanks for that. I was sorry to hear you were 'fed up' with the election result. I think we're all meant to be hyper-energetic, full of life and enthusiasm, and thrilled that we'll soon be 'Getting Brexit Done'. (In some ways, we will be well and truly 'done', I'm sure!)

The thought of any more Nigel, whether a reformed or a reforming character, doesn't lift my spirits. I think I'd rather turn my attention to hyphens, and back to apostrophes … things to gladden the heart and lift the spirit.

Complete non sequitur but, as its seasonal, I thought I'd share the following.

Despite being one of the many hypocritical atheists who still join in the Christmas festivities, I sent my musings on current advent calendars to the Herald newspaper and, perhaps surprisingly, they used it in the Diary.

I mentioned that manufacturers of many advent calendars are under fire for ignoring their original purpose and the meaning of Christmas. Ones containing condoms and sex toys are, seemingly, amongst the tackiest now available.

In a local supermarket I saw two different advent calendars designed for fromagophiles, (okay, I just made that word up), both of which contained small portions of cheese. I argued "No-one, surely, can object to them. After all, every time you open one of the doors, you'll be thinking about the baby cheeses."

Skyewalker,

Wonderful stuff - especially your punchline! I saw a couple of the cheese calendars … and the gin calendars... and the toiletry calendars...

I am a perfectly content atheist and don't feel at all hypocritical about joining in the festivities . My 'the meaning of Christmas' involves no mangers, stars etc. Other people can continue to 'celebrate' the religious festival, of course - each to their own.

skyewalker

Great stuff! A lovely contribution. Glad you got your effort published. The strangest advent calendar I have seen this year is one which has Premier League football cards. 5 a day I think, though that might be something else. Not as tacky as your examples but probably exploiting children?

Jigjag,

A quick check online confirmed that you didn't imagine the football cards Advent calendar. What a pity it's the 14th December, too late now to start opening little doors.

Equally bad, exploitative is the growth in 'Christmas Eve Boxes'. It's not enough that children get loads of stuff on 25th December, it's now considered a good idea to 'treat' them on 24th December. These decorated cardboard boxes come in all shapes and sizes - and I think parents are supposed to stock them with pyjamas, a DVD (for the whole family to watch), hot chocolate etc. Some places have now taken the hard work - the thinking - out of this, and boxes come fully stocked (at a price, of course).

jigjag

Thanks for the entertaining report. I am fed-up too. But at least my pie-eating MP Lisa Nandos got re-elected. I see the Red Wall started crumbling in your North Wales seats and spread across to the East Coast. Apparently Lisa is a serious contender to be the next leader.

I think Ivor Berger is right that Farage will re-emerge in some form (if not re-form). I suppose he is charismatic and several parties might bid for him. He will demand a large transfer fee I imagine.

I bet your greengrocer friend is delighted. Are you going to see him?

Malone

No I didn't imagine the football cards calendar - my son came home with one and I was amazed that they existed. I have not got much of an imagination so I would never have thought of that.

I was horrified to read your Christmas Eve Boxes report. That seems to have passed me by , I am glad to say. What a nightmare! I know some countries e.g. Norway do presents on Christmas Eve, but that is instead of Christmas Day. To have to do it twice is completely unacceptable.

Jigjag,

Thanks. I must apologise, it was the 'five [cards] a day' you were wondering about, not the calendar itself.

The Christmas Eve boxes started a year, maybe two years ago, but it has grown. This year I have seen the (unfilled) boxes in an sorts of stores - in B and M, there was a choice of about a dozen. (I can't give you details on the various varieties, styles, characters, I was too busy recoiling in horror!)

Malone

I am glad you alerted me to the depressing "empty box" scandal. It has given me an idea. I have just finished a large box of chocolates and rather than throwing the box away, I could give it to the lady in my life as a Christmas present. She likes receiving chocolates but says they are not good for her, so it seems a perfect solution. I will wrap it in expensive paper of course.

Similarly, I usually buy a friend six cans of beer. He drinks too much, so I might consume the contents and give him the empty cans.

I have been thinking what to get Grunger this year. I believe you can buy empty pastry cases. Surely that will be better for her than with the fillings she uses.

I am sure these presents will be well-received.

Jigjag

While I was initially impressed with the inventiveness of your basic idea, anyone who gave me an empty box of chocolates would feel the full wrath of my tongue. I also wouldn't appreciate you wasting good money on expensive paper - that money could buy some chocolate.

The empty pastry cases does seem a reasonable suggestion. I'd make sure you bought one each of savoury and sweet cases, then Grunger can let her imagination run wild when it comes to fillings. Brussels sprouts with brandy butter is one suggestion - quite a versatile one really, as the filling suits both sweet and savoury pastry cases.