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Further to your joke, I was teaching a class, and they had to write something in code. I said "Write as little as possible". Every child wrote the message in tiny writing, and I realised that "little" meant something different to them.

Chrise

Sorry - last posting should have been addressed to you.

Chrise

In Cheshire they would say "For what is ET short?" and there is no joke,....... not much humour here.

ChrisE, thanks for the information - that sounds like the Scottish 'how', which means 'why'.

Jigjag,

I liked the little (!) story. I have always enjoyed how literal children can be, salutary at times.

thanks Malone

Grunger, thanks. I do find it odd the way some things from schooldays, my childhood, have stuck - and others have disappeared completely.

Malone

Your posting reminded me that I had not attended a concert for a while, so last night I went to see a performance by the local Philharmonic Orchestra led by the great Swiss, Gotte Batton.

I was delighted that she joined us in the pub afterwards. I have known her a long time and, like most musicians, she found it hard to make a living and a few years ago she took a job “on the buses”. I often tease her. “That was the best display by a conductress here for ages”, I told her.

“Now, now Jigjag. You know very well that there are no female words in music. Trumpetress and drumress would be very odd. Of course, my father wanted me to be a good conductress in the day, and a great conductor at night.”

We had a long chat and I offered her a lift home, but I was disappointed at her response. “No thanks. I’m getting the bus.”

Jigjag, it's been a while since we had one of your little reports - I hadn't realised how much I missed them! That little account was great fun to read, thanks.

The only problem I now have is that you are strongly reinforcing my dislike of 'esses.' I know you used some extreme examples, but I hate some of the old (and, I hope, defunct) ones such as poetess, authoress … and even 'conductress' now belong in the past, in the days of old London Route ... RouteMasters/RouteMistresses.

jigjag

I also enjoyed the report. I am sorry that Gotte declined your offer to escort her home. I am sure you would have "conducted" yourself like a gentleman!

malone

That's a clever comment about Route Mistresses. I suppose that as ships are considered female, buses should be too.

Thanks, Grunger. The Route ... Master thing didn't strike me until I started typing, so I felt I should do something with it!