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Wonderful, Jigjag! I am delighted that your move has worked out so well and has provided you with a veritable treasure trove of stories and information for us. My favourite part was the name of your travel agent, but that has given me cause for concern... as someone asked before, am I swapping my Pedants United hat for a Punner United one?

In a bid to distract me from punnery, I tackled your clues. I was relieved to find that I was able to solve both of them.

Jigjag, I expect my postcard will take a long time to reach you, so here's a brief report on my trip to Christmas Island...

It was a delight from start to finish. The islanders were truly delighted to see me - being so far, far away from any landmass, they seldom get visitors.
One thing puzzled the islanders. 'Why', they asked, 'has our island's name been appropriated for two festivals? ' They added that one of these seemed to involve a spiritual quest, the other involved turkeys, pudding and Secret Santa gifts. As the islanders pointed out, their island existed and was inhabited long, long before these 'observances'. I learned a new fact too - the island's name is actually a mistake!

The first explorer to set foot there was Chris Mast. His Chief Navigator could barely read and write. When he entered details in the Captain's Log, he put ' Wev'e landed on uninhabited teratory. From today, this place will be knone as Christ Mas Island'. That should have been 'Chris Mast Island' but no-one noticed the error, and the island's name has been wrong ever since. A pity there were no pedants around then!

jigjag and malone

What brilliant stories - original, creative and hilarious! I cant stop laughing. I love the characters.

Yes, pedants and punners would have been welcome. I will settle for being a pundit.

By the way, jigjag, there was a post about Easter from "bear of lb". Very informative then he/she went on holiday. Perhaps one of you met him/her on Easter/Chris Mast Island?

Bear, I'm sorry - I forgot to say earlier that I appreciated your intention to be enlightening rather than censorious! As you'd no doubt expect, I'm quite happy to pass up on the offer of more liturgical minutiae, but thanks anyway.

Grunger, glad to hear our 'What I Did On My Holidays' essays are entertaining you. I can't be certain, but I think Bear might have been heading for the Whitsunday Islands. (I haven't the heart to tell him/her that there's no religious connection there either - just a very weary, Scottish explorer who landed there and said ''Whit Sunday's this?' He'd been travelling for months and lost all track of time, dates etc. )

Jigjag and Malone - simply brilliant :-)

Thanks, Brendan. We might have wandered away from pedantry... but that's only because I've not noticed any horrors (grammatic or otherwise) recently. Any serious infringements would feel the full weight of PU sanctions (don't ask for details, I haven't thought of any yet.)

grunger

It's funny you mention "Bear". I went into the jungle this afternoon and met a chap called "Bear" who showed me your posting on his phone. It was a different "Bear" though. This one was showing some tourists how to "survive". He is an expert apparently. He showed them how to cook a dish he called "Grylls Grilled Gryllidae", although I have no idea how it got its name.

It is nutritious if not attractive.


Brendan

Thanks for your comment. Glad you enjoyed it.

Malone

I love the Whit stuff - more please!

Malone

Just noticed your Chris Mast Island story. Very clever and witty. Well done!!

Thanks, jigjag. I'd wanted to get the Whitsuns (we're old friends, I'm allowed the informality) into my Christmas Island stuff, but I was short of time.

I'm glad Bear (your other Bear) wasn't on Christmas Island when I was there - I might have been tempted to stuff and roast him, with or without quinoa, freekeh etc.