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Malone: I am going back to my University days (many decades ago!) when I took a class which was shared with medical students. The lecturers all pronounced dissect in the way i was proposing. For similar reasons, I also pronounce canine with the first syllable as in can but I have to admit that I have lost the battle with K9. Another scientific bugbear is the chemical term methyl which, in my opinion, is pronounced in a similar way to the town in Fife, Methil and not "meeth-aisle".

Ah . . pronounciation (intended)

Fertile ground for differing opinions

Parallelogram, pedantic though I am, I try to avoid letting pronunciation (mispronunciation) bother me too much. Some variations are just regional, some variations have evolved over time. There are plenty of other errors, irritations, to keep a pedant fully occupied!

Hannah, I agree.

From a book about Manchester City in the 1960s:

Mike Summerbee scored with his foot at the Scoreboard End and his head at the Platt Lane End ... Wembley was literally just around the corner.

From a newspaper report:

The cross came over and up jumped Noble, Sharp and Eager, to head the ball into the net.

From commentators passim:

He was frustrated by the post. [If the post had not been there it would presumably have been a goal!?]
He should at least have hit the target. [You’d rather he hit the ball straight at the goalie rather than try to score in the corner?!]
He should at least have tested the keeper, [Would the opposing team pay him for assisting in the training of their goalie?!]
His shot went over the top of the crossbar. [You mean it went over the bar?!]

In everyday life:
I’ll double-check that for you. [Do people ever offer to check things any more?]
He’s indulging in a double bluff. [Do people ever simply bluff?]
He’s trying to second-guess his opponent. [Or guess what he will do?]

Malone
It was with great sadness that I read that the Marks & Spencer/Ocado joint-venture is to trade as “ocado.com”. Hardly original and what about 135 years of M&S history, as the future of the brand is put in doubt?

As you were away, I hope you did not mind me contacting Ena Kwondry, Head of Re-branding at M&S, on your behalf.

“Surely you could have come up with a name that includes a reference to your company. What about Malone’s great idea of Markado?” I asked.

“It was felt to be too “elitist”. It might confuse Spanish tourists looking for a market, or Japanese tourists looking for an opera.” she replied.
“If it’s good enough for G&S, it must be good enough for M&S” I said.
“We wanted a name to whet our customers’ appetites.”
“You mean more Yummy-Yummy than Yum-Yum.”
but she did not see the jokes.

My own suggestion Of Marx Bros was rejected out of hand. “It is too political and would be confused with Moss Bros”.
“But the name has humour and that’s what customers want.”

Of course they only listen to “experts”, not real customers. So “ocado.com” it is, and I, for one, will not be going there.

Thanks for the update, jigjag. I'm very disappointed to hear that we're going to be lumbered with nocando.com - oops, ocado.com. I was delighted that you got in touch with Ms Kwondry. She sounds more on the ball than her predecessor, Ivor Dialemma.


With such an uninspiring name, ocado.com is unlikely to offer me the shopping experience that I feel I am entitled to. I will continue to search for a place worthy of my custom.

PS I loved the Yummy/Yum-Yum and G & S, M & S stuff. Thanks!

Rad, thanks for all your pedant-worthy examples. I'm afraid I skimmed over the football ones as my brain always filters out sporting stuff!

Malone

I hope you enjoyed your holiday and that you didn't mind driving the bus on the wrong side of the road.

Glad you liked the report. I didn't know that Ivor Dialemma was at M&S. I think his wife ran a telephone advice helpline and the slogan was "Dilemma? Dial Emma Dialemma".

Jigjag, my original 'dilemma' had a Welshman, Dai, in charge, but I decided against that - I now can't remember why! My holiday was great, though there were too many 'Pizza's £8' and 'All Pint's £3' for my liking.

I've just been visiting an old friend - Mark Sand-Spencer - and caught up on some shopping too.

Malone

Your Dai would have been excellent. As I live on the Wales border, I know quite a few people called Dai. They are mostly Jones, Griffiths etc., but a couple have interesting surnames.

Wm Morrison are announcing results on Wednesday and I am hoping for some reference to joint ventures. We may not get your "Morose", but a possible link-up with Tesco would give "Mortes". They might test it in France but it is a dead cert to fail over there.