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Grunger

What a delight that was to read! I wish I'd been at the show as it sounds a night full of fun and laughter (and pies). Jigjag's a natural raconteur, so I'm sure the anecdotes came out at a rate of knots (to continue the sailing theme).

I'm glad my pies went down well, literally. I liked the rich mince and quince pie and might try to persuade Waitrose to put those into mass production. I'm not surprised the asparagus was a bit of a flop - it's always had ideas above its station. Still, it was kind of Rosalind to send you so much.

Jigjag

I'm glad you've coped with being confronted with your dodgy sentence. I felt obliged to point it out as anyone passing through the thread might have thought. 'Pedants? They've the cheek to call themselves pedants when sentences like this appear?'

Grunger's theatre/panto review was hugely entertaining - as was the show, apparently. I'm sorry to have missed it, but I was too busy - I had a fun evening proof-reading all the Christmas cards and accompanying notes we'd received.

Back to today's Sunday Telegraph Enigmatic Variations. It's very enigmatic, I haven't made a great deal of progress.

Tyke
I was glad of your bin collection post, it prompted me to check our festive uplift schedule.

Grunger

Thank you for the lovely report. It was a pleasure to help out but I would not like to do it too often. The audience seemed to enjoy it and the delicious food was an unexpected bonus (bosun?) for them.

I had not realised that Wigan Pier actually existed but I managed to find it. I didn't see any ships though, but perhaps I missed them as it was dark.

Malone

Pity you missed the show but I am pleased you had a pleasant evening. Your pies were wonderful and went well with the "side" of asparagus. By the way, I hate "side" as in "what side do you want?"

I haven't started the EV. Shark's puzzles are generally too tough for me and I thought the pre-amble was ambiguous - "These suggest....". What suggests?

Rosalind

The home-grown asparagus was lovely, even in winter.

Tyke

Glad you have a bin collection, even if the date is confusing. We have a 4-week wait for general rubbish, but they are collecting newspapers and plastics/cans. To me this is the wrong way round.

Jigjag

I wasn't keen on sharks before, and the big, hard Shark yesterday put me off completely. I solved a few clues before throwing the paper overboard (into the recycling bin, not the sea.) My 'ordinary' rubbish is due to be uplifted on Thursday, and the council have notified us that it will be collected 'between Thursday and Friday' - I'm looking forward to the excitement of seeing when the bin lorry appears.

I'm disappointed that you're not desperately keen to repeat your stage appearance. I'd mentioned your stellar performance to an old friend, and he gave me contact details for someone who is 'very big in the entertainment business.' This was Simona Cowal - I was slightly baffled, as I'd thought the X-Factor person was male. Anyway, I met up with Simona today. My friend had got it wrong - Simona is very big … AND she's in the entertainment business, the business of making animal-shaped balloons. Not really the niche for you, I feel.

Jigjag,

I ran out of space - no room for the 'sides'. Yes, it's an awful word - I blame Nando's, I think they were the first to feature it as a standard term. In case you've never been to this fine-dining establishment, one chooses which cut/size/style of chicken portion one wants and the price quoted includes two 'sides'. I believe one can pay slightly more for 'super sides'. Don't expect any superlative offerings - if I remember correctly, sweet potato mash is a 'super side'.

I had a problem this afternoon. I got some petrol and at the till there was a stack of boxes of mince pies , £1 a box. Naturally I said I would take a box.

"Would you like to donate them to the hospital?" asked the cashier.

I was puzzled. "I am happy to make a cash donation, but I would like to buy the mince pies", I said reasonably.

"We don't accept cash donations, only mince pies. " he said.

"But if I donate them, I will have to buy more, and you will then ask me to donate them as well."

"Yes that is our policy" he said

I left with the mince pies but without making a donation. I felt bad about it. What could I have done?

Malone

Yes I have been to Nandos/Nando's many times. I usually have half-a-chicken, but it is irritating that included items are described as sides. I have given up querying this, and I just ask for "half-a-chicken, rice and chips with no side dishes, please." They always get it right.

If you abandoned the EV, I am glad I didn't start it. Pity, I had been looking forward to a straightforward Christmas one.

You will have to pay attention to catch the bin wagon in the nanosecond between Thursday and Friday. Hope it is worth staying up for.

Grunger

Cheer up, there is no way round it. I had a similar problem last week.

The mince pies were £2 a box or 2 for £3. I bought 2 boxes and was asked to donate one to a local charity. This avoided your problem, but when I asked the cashier if I was donating the box that cost £2, or the one that cost £1, he couldn't answer me.

Grunger

The garage mince pies story sounds … rather daft! I think it was a well-intentioned plan, but not not ideal. Anyone, like you, buying the pies for themselves then looks rather uncharitable. The solution could be to purchase two boxes, one for yourself, one for the hospital. This could be the latest equivalent of BOGOF - now BTGOF, Buy Two Give One Free. It doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

Jigjag

Good to know you're well-acquainted with Nando's - someone has to be! No, it's a perfectly fine food place. I decided to stop calling it a restaurant when I discovered the logistics of eating there - sit down, peruse the menu, go to counter to order and pay... A little later, food arrives at the table and I have to get up again, to add my chosen selection of condiments, spicy sauces etc.