The thing about helping people, S_Pugh, is to try not to bring judgement into it. If you judge whether someone needs help, then you say "they should be able to see that for themselves...", "they've got more than enough help already" and you don't help them. And people who are more clever than you don't ask you anyway because they don't need to, so you end up helping nobody.
Sometimes I've answered the same question 3 times in a week. I don't judge because of that. If I didn't want to help I wouldn't. But I don't go all mealy mouthed and say "I can't really tell you that..."
Also you got preoccupied about 'giving the game away', which isn't what the Crossword Help Forum is concerned about. There is no morality problem with helping people to complete a puzzle.