Crossword Help Forum
Forum Rules

One for your collection, malone - today's Guardian
Extra papers in the Guardian (4)

ChrisE, that was rotten of you! In my ideal world, I would be sheltered from all cricket references and clues. Ignorance really is bliss.

Malone

Please take care. You are going to dangerous places. The shot at the coffee shop, the murder in the cafe and now, an agent at M&S. Please ignore Bogof offers - they could be from E European sources.

You will be pleased to hear that I have cracked the code. I think you were chosen as courier because of your excellent German and French skills. The message was indeed translated into those languages. The man from the Times was advertising the forthcoming crossword final. The message contains answers to some clues. Obviously I cannot reveal them but it is probably OK to say that they are pie fillings.

malone

I spent a few days in Cumbria last week. One day I crossed the border and had an excellent "home-made" steak pie in a cafe at Gretna Green.

I was surprised to see so many weddings taking place. The female marriage official was dressed in a suit, so was probably not the blacksmithess. I think her name was Honor Anvil.

Jigjag

Thanks for your concern about my physical wellbeing. I am now slightly concerned, but don't know if paranoia might be setting in … Messages relating to me - or threatening me - seem to be appearing in the Times crossword. Yesterday we had 'brawn', today we have stuff about Sarin, a deadly agent. I am considering a change of identity, maybe this will make me less of a target.

Grunger

You're next...

Grunger

I hope the 'You're next' didn't lead to any sort of anxiety - I wasn't suggesting you'd be the next target, just that you'd get a post of your own.

I've never been to Gretna, but have never felt I'm missing anything. It has always seemed, sounded, quite a tacky place - I'd love to be wrong! I liked the name of the celebrant you saw ('celebrant' is far better than your cumbersome 'blacksmithess'.).

I am slightly curious about your 'home-made' steak pie. Did you have doubts about its origins, did you think it was a mass-produced offering with ideas above its station?

Malone

Yes, a change of identity is a good idea - perhaps just "M". That will confuse the agents who are on the trail of another one.

They seem to be closing in on you. Sarin, Fife, Scotland and German all featured prominently plus a sinister golf reference in "Albatross".

Thanks for the telepathy in sorting out my wrong entries. I put in "bratwurst" for the German diet, and "Quiche" for Lorraine's partner. They seemed obvious answers and not worth parsing. But you forced me to see further, so many thanks.

malone

I was startled to see "you're next" but soon saw the follow-up which put my mind at rest.

Gretna was tacky in the sense that it was highly commercialised. Numerous gift shops catering for coach-loads of tourists, many of whom strayed into the wedding guests area. The "celebrant (I like that)" spent a lot of time shooing them away, with what looked like a prayer-book rather than a hammer. Nothing seemed to bother the celebrantees.

I feel that "home-made" stuff should be made at home. The pie was an enormous one in a very large rectangular tin, clearly cooked in a commercial oven. It was cut into good-sized portions and contained big chunks of tasty steak. The vegetables were nice too, so I was very pleased. It cost £8 compared with £5 at my local cafe but I was quite happy with that.

jigjag

I liked your post to malone about the Times crossword final. Are you going? I think you have been in the past.

Jigjag

I loved your (erroneous) answers for the Times crossword. What a pity they simply didn't fit with other entries! If you do go back to the Crossword Championship, I hope we'll get a full report. H'mm, maybe two reports would be good - one factual and informative, the other with your slightly more … imaginative musings?

Grunger
Thanks for the Gretna news I think I saw all the gift-shops and tourist-oriented stuff on television once, it made me cringe. I don't know about Gretna itself, but Scotland has lots of celebrants (I've heard them referred to as 'civil celebrants', I don't know if there's an official designation. ) I've seen them at many funerals and weddings over the years.

Thanks too for the pie info. It gave me a lot to think about - the 'home' in 'home-made' really is a tricky point. I suppose the terms 'Not Bought In Steak Pie' or 'Made On The Premises Chicken Pie' don't sound particularly appealing!