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jijjag

I was thinking you might be feeling undernourished after your quinoa/freekeh eating holiday, together with my pie fiasco. Are you considering a trip to McDonalds to stuff yourself with delicious, wholesome food? More to the point, I would love to hear more from Ivor Berger, please.

Thanks grunger. I was wondering how to celebrate Ascension Day tomorrow, and I might well dine out there, or go for a coffee more likely. But the only ascending that I will do is 2 flights of steep stairs. I hope Ivor is still there. Malone told me about her friend Big Mac (and his children, the small fries) some time ago, and I have been meaning to ask Ivor about them. He does not seem to have a sense of humour, so it might fall flat.

If I go, I will let you know about it on Friday.

Jigjag, I'm glad to hear you'll be celebrating Ascension Day - it's always nice to see our Queen remembered (though I wasn't around when she ascended to the throne. )

I think you deserve more than a burger to mark the occasion - go on, have a triple Mac (is there such a thing? I have little knowledge on the subject).


Research is ongoing for a venue for the next talk.

Grunger, if you're heartily sick of pies, may I please have your pie chart? I'll put it in my Stores cupboard (currently full of unwanted grains, grains with weird names).

I love it all malone. I am definitely going!

When you were away there was a question in the Times Quiz, and the answer was - Wimpy!

Our last event ended up being a little … downmarket, shall we say? There were WAGs, the Spite Girls and some rather iffy pies. I'm aiming for a slightly more elevated tone next time.


Having finger food rather than a sit-down meal will encourage guests to mingle and conversation to flow more freely. I have placed a provisional order for some batonnets de poisson, pilons de poulet and craquelines et fromage.


I've also provisionally booked a string quartet. The band (!) members are Rope, Twine, Cord and a world-renowned Scotsman, Mac Rammy.


I've also discovered the perils of online bookings. I tried to organise a display from a birds of prey centre. Imagine my horror when the first website I was sent to had a photo of women in habits and wimples, chanting away. Yes, I'd been directed to Birds of Pray instead.

Malone

Lots of brilliant stuff there. Will reply tomorrow - just dashing off to check some venues

Malone

You have certainly been putting a lot of thought into this and have come up with some great ideas. I am not sure about the French food - putting poison on the menu might put people off. I love crackling on pork, but does it go with cheese, I am looking forward to that.

I laughed at your Birds of Pray joke. I know a nun, who is a teacher at a local school. She is a young rather "modern" one. I must try the joke on her, if you don't mind.

Grunger rang last night. It was not a good line and I think I may have misheard what she said. It seems she is away for a few days, having been called up for the Spite Girls tour. That must be right as an item on the news was about "5G", which must mean fifth girl.

She asked me to mention charts to you, so they must be making a new record. It is all pie in the sky to me.

Jigjag

Thanks for your views on the French titbits. I'll continue to work on the menu, those were just a few ideas from a friend, Jenny Saykwa.

You're welcome to the Birds Of Prey nonsense.

Grunger seems to be having a very interesting time. Being on the Spite Girls tour would be a form of torture for me, but other people are more adventurous. I loved the '5G' stuff, very clever.

Grunger, Malone

As requested, I went to McD……., and was pleased that Ivor Berger, the “cashier” who corrects customers’ bad grammar, was there. This was intended to be an “educational” visit, and I thought I would try Malone’s joke on him.
“Do you know a Scotsman, Big Mac, who comes here with his children, the small fries?” I asked.
“Of course I know him. He wears a skirt and plays the bagpipes” he laughed.
I cringed at the stereotype. “You English have no sense of humour”, he added.
“But I am half-Irish”, I protested. “So you only want half-a pint of Guinness!” he replied.
This was going nowhere. “I actually came here to find out why a Big Mac is so called. It cannot be anything to do with McDonald’s, as that is Mc not Mac.”, I said.
“McDonald’s did create it. Originally it was called Big Beef Burger with MAC, but it became Big Mac”
“What did MAC stand for? Mustard and Cress I suppose.” I asked.
“No, Mayonnaise and Cheese, but the correct name is Mayo, which as you know, comes from Ireland like you.” He could not stop laughing, but I was thinking. “Big Beef Burger with Mayonnaise and Cheese”. That IS a mouthful, but I don’t want it in MY mouth, thank you.

jigjag

I cannot think why you do not want the burger with mayo and cheese. I just looked up the cheese bit, which turns out to be "Pasturised process American cheese". Sounds absolutely delightful. Apparently the "moisture" (hoho) content is not more than 41% and the fat not more than 49% And the left-over 10%?? Spice -or perhaps Spite, - salt, unspecified "non-dairy items". Does it not sound delicious?
PS you should convene at Wright by the Sea, in Swanage. The fish in the F&C contains fish!