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Malone, Grunger

I asked the government for advice as to what should happen when two people exercising are on a collision course. I received a reply from Tony Hancock, Minister for Exercise:

“Thank you for your enquiry. The general rule is that steam gives way to sail, so the more powerful gives way. Therefore a runner should give way to a walker by changing course. Two walkers approaching each other should assess who is the more mobile and that person should cross the road. Where this proves difficult, it is permitted to move onto another person’s property to allow a walker to pass.

Where oncoming walkers occupy both sides of the road, the most powerful should walk down the centre of the road and traffic must give way to this walker. Cyclists must not ride on the footpath under any circumstances.”

This seems good advice and I think I will follow it this afternoon.

Grunger

Here's wishing you many more peaceful spells of exercise.

Jigjag

Thanks for passing on the government advice. I'm assuming Mr Hancock is a crusty old soul - 'steam gives way to sail' sounds positively antediluvian. Still, the rest of the advice appears to make sense, after a fashion. I wonder how we've to 'assess who is more mobile', is there a set of guidelines? Does age come into it? Does speed, the rate of covering the previous 10 yards of pavement, matter? Will allowances be made for additional burdens - ie a spry 50-year-old carrying two heavy bags of shopping might be more deserving of the place on the original side of the road.

I'll give this whole topic some more thought before I venture out.

I distrust dogs so much that I flatten myself into the hedge, cross over road etc to avoid them. Recently treated everyone as if they have a dog!
It's the cyclists that get me. Our pavements are less than a metre wide, they come puffing up the hill far too close. Only option is to keep looking and cross the road as appropriate as they do not manoevre to avoid one.
Lots of noisy DIY going on!

malone

A letter to the Times today suggested that a walker should play the bagpipes to keep others at a distance. I am surprised that Jigjag is not doing that as he plays them so well.

I think that the government advice is that mobility affected by shopping bags etc should indeed be considered. In the spirit of Utopism, people should mutually self-assess and give way to more disadvantaged.

I didnt enjoy the Times crossword yesterday. Too many oscure words - e.g.Axeman (possibly someone I will meet in the park), Dunkirk was spelt wrongly and Zucchini (what sort of veg is that!) - the homophone does work here or in Italy think.

Rosalind

I am rather terrified by dogs too. I have been pestered by a lot of them lately and most of them seem bigger than I am. Their owners seem to think it is funny and I think the goverment advice should be that they must remain on the lead even in the park.

Cyclists are a nuisance. They cant avoid walkers or themselves. I dont think they know what 2 metres is.

malone

I calculate that the marathon runner you mentioned must have done 1730 laps, assuming he didn't take any short cuts. If he took a circular route it will be more but I cant calculate it without using pi. Perhaps Grunger will be so kind as to work it out using her pi chart.

I would also like to know how many laps parallelogram's runner took, but without knowing what a metre is, I cant do it.

Grunger (at 17.55/18.55)

I got stuck halfway through yesterday's Times puzzle, put it aside - and then forgot to return. It sounds as if I didn't miss much! Today's was definitely different, I was disappointed that it was so straightforward - I had it finished before breakfast.

I'd pay good money to see Jigjag striding along, playing the bagpipes as he marched along at a rate of knots (I think he's happy with nautical terms). It'd be one way of clearing people out of one's path - a single bagpiper is often not the most melodic of musical options. (Pipe bands are more stirring, but they're not out and about, too hard to self-distance, march in stride and play 'We're No' Awa' Tae Bide Awa' ' at the same time.

I will follow your advice about assessing all aspects of any walker coming towards me. As far as the dog-walkers go, I tend to cross the road when I see any of them approaching. I've had enough 'he's very friendly ...really' remarks to last a lifetime. These are usually applied to very bouncy, very yappy, very snappy … very everything dogs!

Rosalind

I sympathise with you about the dogs. My pet (!) hate is a common current situation... two dog-owners, walkers bump into each other and start a friendly conversation. They're following the distancing guidelines and are standing two metres apart. I turn onto the street and come across them - and have nowhere to go. I can't pass between them - I'd be breaking the distancing guidelines and I'd be breaking my 'don't go within 5 metres of a dog' rule - I can't get past on one side as it's a brick wall. I can't get past on the other as it's a carefully-tended privet hedge that I'd hate to bash. I've discovered that a good scowl works wonders.

PS I seldom encounter cyclists, but you have my sympathy.

Grunger

I sympathise with you re the Dunkerque clue.When I was in France, they not only refused to speak English, but very rarely used foreign words in their crosswords ( Malone does them too). Occasionally they would use an English word e.g. l'esprit de Dunkirk, le chimeme and L'Utopism.

Malone

I have printed several copies of the Goverment advice and will be taking them with me today. Of course I cannot hand them out so I have made paper aeroplanes out of them. Any dog-walker or runner coming near me will receive a well-directed missile giving the latest guidance.

Jigjag,

Your paper planes sound a rather nifty idea, though I feel only be-gloved dog walkers and runners will be able to read the information immediately. The dog-walkers should, of course, have access to disposable gloves, so not too much of a problem. I have seen lots of runners sporting clothes made from Lycra - and what an unpleasant sight it is at times - but I have never seen one with gloves, Lycra or otherwise. Perhaps you could embrace a rather old-fashioned (or traditional if you prefer) means of communication. I'm thinking of sandwich boards or those placards on a stick that some over-zealous 'believers' used to carry. H'mm, that last could work - 'Beware, the end is nigh' might resonate with many people today!

PS I hope you don't find several of today's Times clues rather … troublesome.