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So pleased to have found some other dog-dislikers!

I really did go to someone's house recently and get a note on a piece of paper held up to the window. I was standing a good 3 m from the house but of course had to get quite close to read the thing (am short-sighted). Nothing wrong with conversation (at a distance) out of an open window! Anyway, thinking of relearning semaphore. Was it the Goodies who used this to advantage?

One of my neighbours isists on calling her cat. Do they respond?

To maintain social distancing get a Jimmy Savile disguise kit. People will avoid you like the plague (to coin an appropriate phrase)

I love dogs - it`s just some of the owners I don`t like. The ones who enjoy watching their dogs `jump up` at people (especially on a wet day) are a particular nuisance. If the innocent party complains they often get a load of verbal abuse for their trouble.

rosalind
The semaphore version of Wuthering heights was Monty Python. I tried and failed to find a working link.

Mump-ridden Nancy Blackett communicated through the window by semaphore in Winter holiday, of course.

Tyke 51 so agree with you. Wet day, clean jeans, minding my own business on a walk, dog jumps up. When I ask politely if the owner will call the dog off am told "He's only being friendly". I have considered putting my hands in the mud and being similarly friendly.
If I complain about the masses (literally) of cat faeces in my garden I am told it's what cats do.
What I do, if I see them, is wield a water pistol.

chrise, thanks, I remember now. Heathcliffe! Heathcliffe!
Catherine!

Malone

I decided to take up your idea. I have made one of those placard-on-a-stick things with some materials I panic-bought few weeks ago. I have attached the Government advice to it rather than a message of doom. The stick is 6 foot long which will do I suppose and I can use it to ward off anyone coming too close. I am going out with it now. What can go wrong?

Jigjag,

Spendid! Let me know how you and your big stick get on. I was initially a little concerned as I have always abided by the '2 metre' distance, as advised by the authorities and that is longer than your six foot stick. I am relieved to say that the Gov.UK website isn't fully au fait with the metric system - the guidelines there say '2 metres (6 feet)'. Your stick is a multi-purpose tool - you can use it simply to display the advice, you can use it to measure the distance between you and any other person, and you can wave it about - very enthusiastically - to repel anyone who looks to be getting too close to you.

If the big stick doesn't work, maybe you could try the carrots approach?

Malone

I’m afraid it was a disaster. The placard and stick looked rather professional and my walk started well enough. Although I didn’t see any yachts, several people approached and read the advice from a safe distance. I had of course printed it in large letters.

But I soon found that I was attracting those that I sought to repel, particularly runners and dogs, and like Rosalind, I feel that my clean jeans might have been the problem. As you say, the stick was just long enough to fend off undesirables.

I’m afraid some passing cyclists told me, somewhat rudely, that I knew what I could do with my Government advice – the stick too. But when I was nearly home, a gust of wind detached the placard from the stick and blew it into a garden. As I retrieved it, I was approached by a growling dog and an even fiercer owner.

“We don’t want any religious nutters here, even if it is Easter” she said.

“But it’s not Easter until Sunday” I protested, but I know this is a futile argument and I beat a hasty retreat.

Jigjag

Poor you - all that thought, time and effort, for so very little reward. I was pleased that you'd printed the advice in large letters, but I certainly didn't expect you to come across so many runners with dogs. The passing cyclists were definitely rude, but they perhaps added some new, choice phrases to your vocabulary?

I'm delighted you made it home safely - eventually. I think the fierce owner of the fierce dog might have been one of those people who refer to the whole weekend as Easter? I do remember there being heated discussion last year, here on the Forum, about shops (and newspapers too, I think) referring to 'Easter Saturday' - a definite 'no-no' apparently.

Malone

Yes I could not repeat the language here, or anywhere else for that matter. You are right about the ferocious dog owner. I'm sure I heard her mutter something about her Easter weekend being ruined, but I didn't want to upset her any more by saying that Easter actually involves two week-ends.

You are right about carrots. People need an incentive to follow the rules but real carrots are too precious. Perhaps you can suggest an alternative?