Crossword Help Forum
Forum Rules

I was doing my daily exercise today in a deserted park when a "community officer" approached me.

“Do you mind telling me what you are doing, madam?” he asked from a safe distance.

“It’s my daily exercise.” I replied.

“But you can only walk, run or cycle, and yet you are walking a few steps, then a hop and waving your arms about.”

“Those are examples of exercise but I am practising my bowling.”

“Bowling what?”

“Off-breaks”, I explained.

“But shouldn’t you have a ball or something?” he asked.

“That might be considered dangerous, so I am managing without one.”

He was not happy and said he would look into it, but I am sure it is in order.

Grunger

I`m relieved the `community officer` didn`t show you his googly.

Jigjag,

Your thinking cap must have slipped - I'm sure you'd normally have got Utopism in a flash.

One of the recent at-home marathons was run in a man's 20 foot backyard. Goodness knows how many circuits were involved … a lot, anyway.

I haven't heard from the government yet. That's quite a relief, I have enough penpals already.

The lazy river sounded appealing, the 'toobes' less so.

Grunger

What a pity you ran into a real jobsworth during your exercise. He obviously didn't appreciate your regime/routine, but surely everyone knows that varied exercise is the most effective? My mother was a very keen bowler, but I have to say I never saw her walk, hop and then wave her arms about in the air. I don't think the members of her bowling club would have approved of that, they were a very decorous bunch.

I wish you hadn't mentioned 'off-breaks', it's ages since I got to go anywhere. I've been torturing myself by making lists of all the places I will visit when I am released.

The garden marathon runners (the first one I saw reported was actually done going to and fro on a 7 metre long balcony) use those wrist devices which measure how many steps you have taken and hence how far. Pedometers, basically, but much more sophisticated nowadays.

Thanks, Parallelogram. How monotonous must that balcony marathon have been?!

Tyke

Thanks for warning me. If he mentions showing me his googlies, I will be ready for him, and if he talks about "bowling a maiden over", I will have to resist kicking him in the aforementioneds.

Malone

I have seen your mother's bowling game being played in the park. It does seem rather genteel. But I like games where the balls bounce.

I take your point about varied exercise, so I might practise leg breaks today.

Grunger

I also have problems doing daily exercise. I only do walking but constantly meet people coming towards me on the same side of the road. Obviously someone has to cross the road, but what is the etiquette of the situation.

Does the younger person have to cross, and should men give way to women etc. And what do you do when there are people on both sides? I just turn and run but this seems awfully rude. I might write to the Government for clarification.

Grunger

What a vicious sport you seem to be involved in, 'leg breaks' sound distinctly threatening.

Jigjag

I wish I could help with the etiquette involved in walking these days, now that we've all to keep our distance (literally as well as metaphorically). Maybe you should do your walking only on streets that are wider than two metres? That would involve no-one having to cross to the other side, step on the road and so on. I've seen people doing various manoeuvres to avoid coming within two metres of another person - big, sweeping detours, which involve setting foot on the road (fortunately traffic-free at the time), and I've seen walkers turn sideways and shrink themselves against hedges, walls etc to allow an adequate clearance.

malone

A peaceful session in the park - no officials and no broken legs.

jigjag

I would follow Malone's advice, but dont climb hedges or walls to avoid others.