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Orson, I'm pretty stern - I'd call it a mistake, error, wrong word!

You can be pretty stern when you want to be can't you, malone.

Now I wonder whether malapropism should have a capital M, after Mrs Malaprop. No capitals for turkey or brussels sprouts but nevertheless for Yorkshire pudding and French fries. (It's safer to stick to asparagus.)

Orson, you've probably only seen my gentler side - so how stern I can be is … maybe worrying!

I'd keep malapropism with a lower case 'm' - but only because my Chambers does!

I never like seeing Spring, Summer etc having capitals, those just never look right to me. I was relieved to say that Chambers says only 'often with a capital...' That means it's safe for me to stick with lower case.

Orson & Malone

My stepfather is a nasty piece of work who nobody likes. He is always getting things wrong, one of his classic statements was ... `I feel like a bit of a piranha`.

Tyke, that too was a good one - I hope everyone him around kept their faces straight when he said it!

Malone
I`m afraid we all fought a losing battle to keep our faces straight - as usual he didn`t know what the joke was!

Orson

Not safe to mention asparagus to malone, she hates it!

Rosalind

Thanks. I find it easy now to deal with references to asparagus, I ignore them, blot them out. The same technique is applied to mentions of cricket and - at certain times over the past few years - Brexit.

Farcebook . . Where else??

Covid19 . . What else??

"I agree, and anyone who hasn't been nationalised should be sent back to China . .

Malone, Tyke

I phoned Ivan Napple to place my fruit and veg order, and asked him if he had seen Jigjag recently.

“Not since the election. He was very disappointed with the result and went into self-isolation. I told him that Johnson would get it done, and he has. It’s all over, we are out, and I have heard nothing about it for months.”

“I think you might hear a lot more of it in the future when the crisis is over” I said.

“Crisis? Yes, I can’t get any asparagus and that Scottish customer of mine has bought all the celeriac and kale. Can’t get any anywhere.”

“I can get asparagus from Rosalind, but what about salsify?”

“Satisfy? I satisfy all my customers” he chuckled. Well I hope so and I am looking forward to the delivery.