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I'm struggling to work out what to highlight here. I have found "Wedding", "pleased", Adam and Eve" and RSVP in the grid but have no idea what's going on. Can anyone help?

I don't know the puzzle, but possibly something like "invitation"?

Deeply confused here too.

Unclued, I presume you have the 'advice to be followed when highlighting', given by the extra letters?

I have "obs**** pri** num***** clu** fir** wor** but I haven't an idea what it means. As this is the first weekend of gay marriages the highlighted words could be "wedding pleased Adam and Steve" but I don't even know if that is frivolous or not (and it doesn't have enough letters/cells).

barretter,

If you read the first words of the prime numbered clues, it gives an instruction. Still can't find enough relevant words in the grid though.

40D 'must' be HUMA, although PUMA (helicopter) was my first thought., but, with D as the extra letter, I can't make sense of the wordplay.

PLEASE .....
ADA(M)
AND
(ST)EVE
hence "the solver's free choice".

Hum (buzzing) ad (flyer) less the d.

Thanks, cowbit.

I have nearly all, but do not understand two clues:
5dn: Of code, second part is one thought flawless by semite, almost. (6)
8dn: Upping Indian distance, use jade for a success. (6, two words)
Can anyone explain?