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celadon

5th June 2015, 09:51
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

1751 of 1953  -   Report This Post

lmj

6th June 2015, 00:57
Going back on the thread a bit but can't do a place name but read this recently "the only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is ....uncopyrightable"

First time I have been on this thread. Funny or wot!
1752 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

6th June 2015, 07:34
Welcome Imj,

Nice to have new blood.
1753 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

7th June 2015, 06:41
At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science (AAFS),
President Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death ..

Here is the story :

On March 23, 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head.

Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide ..

He left a note to that effect indicating his despondency ..

As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly ..

Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers.

Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned ..

The room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife .

They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun!

The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Mr. Opus .

When one intends to kill subject 'A' but kills subject 'B' in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject 'B'.

When confronted with the murder charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant and both said that they thought the shotgun was not loaded.

The old man said it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun ..

He had no intention to murder her.

Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, assuming the gun had been accidentally loaded.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident.

It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother ..

Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger ..

The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

Now comes the exquisite twist ....

Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus ..

He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder.

This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window.

The son, Ronald Opus, had actually murdered himself.

So the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.



A true story from Associated Press ...
1754 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

15th June 2015, 16:52
Computer Haikus

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
“My Novel” not found.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
1755 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

16th June 2015, 07:30
A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor.

"Is Fred home"? he asked the woman who answered the door.

"Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred's gone for cotton."

The next day, the collector tried again.

"Is Fred here today"?

"No, sir," she said. "I'm afraid Fred has gone for cotton."

When he returned the third day, he humphed, "I suppose Fred is gone for cotton again"?

"No," the woman answered solemnly. "Fred died yesterday."

Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and investigate the cemetery himself. But sure enough, there was poor Fred's tombstone, with this inscription:

"Gone, but not for cotton."
1756 of 1953  -   Report This Post

busby

16th June 2015, 09:41
That deserves a big groan Celadon.
Post more like that ;-)
1757 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

17th June 2015, 08:32
Someone sent me an article that said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish things you've started. It is definitely working for me.

I am now making a point of always finishing what I start, and I think I am well on my way toward finding inner peace. Because I care for you, I am passing this wisdom on to you.

Here are the things that I have finished today:

- Two bags of potato chips,
- a strawberry cheesecake,
- a package of Oreos,
- a bottle of wine, and
- a large box of chocolates.

I think this really works because I feel better already.
1758 of 1953  -   Report This Post

busby

17th June 2015, 09:31
Couldn't agree more Celadon.
Today I finished breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Now I've finished 6 "tinnies" and I feel very peaceful :-)
1759 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

19th June 2015, 18:50
AN EXCLUSIVE City development of £1m apartments has been scandalised by the revelation that someone lives there.

More than three-quarters of the Renzo Piano-designed Cube Point apartments overlooking the Thames are up for sale after the discovery that bond trader Joseph Turner has been living on the premises for long as six months.

Prince Rashad Al Maddah said: “This used to be a lovely mixed-use residential and high-end retail complex.

“You could stand out on your balcony and hear nothing but the gentle hum of your property accumulating value before returning to your suite at the Dorchester.

“But the other weekend I noticed a man dodging furtively into the elevator like he actually knew the place.

“Turns out he’s been living there full-time. Food in the cupboards, sleeping in the bed, showering, the lot.

“He may as well be a squatter.”

Turner said: “I know I’ve broken the service agreement, but my place in Dubai’s tied up in my divorce, the apartment in Paris is being sublet and the house in the Cotswolds was set on fire for tax reasons.

“If it helps at all I am a non-dom.”
1760 of 1953  -   Report This Post