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Jigjah had resigned himself to the inevitable, his hair desperately needed cutting. Where should he go - 'Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow' or 'Curl Up And Dye'? Luckily, he spied a promising-looking place, 'Tonsorial Treasures'.
The owner, Ivor Payre-O'Cissors, greeted Jigjag warmly and gowned him up. 'Modern or traditional?' the barber asked. Jigjag needed an explanation... apparently, Traditional includes 'short back and sides', 'just a quick trim' and 'make me respectable for goodness sake', whereas Modern has the Spiky Quiff, the Undercut and the Fade & Taper. Jigjag opted for the 'make me respectable' option and Ivor got to work. It took rather a while, lots of hair to be taken off the back, the sides, the top (who knew that hair could grow upwards?). Eventually the job was done and Jigjag barely recognised himself. Ivor degowned him and presented the bill - 'As you went for the Traditional, that'll be 20 guineas'.

Given that Jigjag opted for the "traditional", do we know if he was offered "something for the weekend...."?

He was, Brendan. I had that in my original - Jigjag's response was 'do you have the Sunday Telegraph? I fancy a decent crossword and my brain might work better with less hair weighing it down.' I ran out of space!

Malone

That's very funny, I haven't laughed so much for ages. Funnily enough, I do ask for a quick trim, but 20 guineas!!! Although I would love to return to that, I pay £9 at Daves' and if I cant get an appointment, it is £3 at Nikki's.

I certainly would not opt for "Modern", even though your options do sound appealing, paricularly the hedgehog one.

Brendan

I never knew what they meant when they asked that. I always politely declined, but at university I found out, when "Mr Z" was the supplier. Not that I bought any then either.

That was being seriously unprepared jigjag. I was studying zoology and, contrary to my father's hopes, was doing practicals. Finding the effect of various things on the hearts of water fleas, naturally.

I was thinking of doing a grade 2 on myself, if I knew how. It would last a good long time, I reckon.

Jigjag

Glad you didn't mind me taking liberties with your coiffure! I had to resort to the internet to find 'modern' haircuts, and was amazed at the huge range there is. The names and terminology, were bizarre too - low-, mid- or high-fade, bald taper, slicked back undercut. I was initially delighted to see that the Pompadour was back... but that means something else entirely now.

The 'anything for the weekend, sir? stuff always makes me uneasy. I don't know why, but it evokes images of Benny Hill or Frankie Howerd!

Hi Ros,

Your post prompted me to get my shearers out and give myself a grade 2. It really is surprisingly easy, although I have to assume the back is okay, as I can't actually see it.

I was also minded to look up details on the heart of a water flea (I clearly have too much time on my hands!) They beat at 200 times per minute and the heart and blood cells are visible through a transparent body - fascinating stuff:-)

Rosalind, Brendan

I overlooked the numbers stuff - probably because it brought back too many dark memories. When my son was much younger, he used to have some pretty drastic haircuts - I dreaded him saying he wanted a 'number 1'. I think that was the one that made him look like a teenage convict.

I can understand your feelings, Malone. I remember back in 1978, I was in a punk band and our bassist had his hair dyed bright orange! He came from a very middle class family (his dad was a retired RAF man) and we were so worried about what the shock might do to his mother, that myself and another band member went round in advance to just to try and prepare her. All in all they took it very well.

Rosalind, Brendan, Malone

I also avoid reference to numbers as I dont understand what they mean. I always thought a number 2 meant something else.

I am just letting my hair grow as I want to go to Daves' for a chat as much as a haircut. It is always interesting there with 3 barbers and 3 different conversations.

It was fascinating reading about water fleas, I had never heard of them.