Rumours of my demise have been exaggerated.
The truth of the matter is that I have been fully occupied in my duties in the Save Haggis Against Genocide Society (SHAGS).
This entails many nights on cold snowy mountains trying to repel the slaughter of these sweet little creatures,by the hunting and shooting fraternity.
As the 25th of January is approaching I would urge all of you to boycott eating this trusting little creature,which is rapidly becoming an endangered species.
Our ultimate aim is to ban all Burns suppers worldwide,as these gatherings are responsible
for 95% of the consumption.
A prosperous New Year to you all.
TJ
Chairman SHAGS