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celadon

20th September 2009, 13:52
The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v.): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n..): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v.): To take coffee intravenously when you're running late.

7. Hipatitis (n.): Terminal coolness.

8.. Osteopornosis (n.): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n.): It's, like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v.): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n.): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

16. Ignoranus (n.): A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.

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the joker

22nd September 2009, 22:59
A Lesson To Be Learned From Typing The Wrong Email Address.
A Minneapolis couple decide to go to Florida during a particularly cold winter,and to stay at the hotel they used for their honeymoon 30 years earlier.
Because of hectic schedules it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules,so the husband left Minnesota on Thursday,with his wife flying down the following day.The husband checked into the hotel and decided to email his wife.However he accidentally left out a letter in the address.
Meanwhile,somewhere in Houston,a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral.He was a minister who had been called home early,following a heart attack.
The widow decided to check her emails expecting messages from wellwishers.After reading the first message she screamed and fainted.The widow's son rushed into the room and saw the computer screen which read.
To:My Loving Wife
Subject:I've Arrived
Date:Sept.22,2009
I know you're surprised to hear from me.They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.
I've just arrived and have been checked in.I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then.Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
p.s Sure is freaking hot down here!!!
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trevor

22nd September 2009, 23:09
nice one, sexy!
376 of 1953  -   Report This Post

the joker

22nd September 2009, 23:14
Hi Trevor
At least it is clean.
Joker xxx
377 of 1953  -   Report This Post

trevor

22nd September 2009, 23:17
where have you been putting it?
378 of 1953  -   Report This Post

the joker

23rd September 2009, 03:28
Nowhere these days(or nights).
Combination of anno domine and being a widowman.
379 of 1953  -   Report This Post

the artiste previously known as...

23rd September 2009, 22:43
JOKER

Come on now, get a grip (on yourself)
380 of 1953  -   Report This Post

the joker

24th September 2009, 03:06
Trevor(or should it be the Artiste?)
You really are a Master at baiting people on this site.
Joker
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trevor

24th September 2009, 04:00
stop right there TJ!!

This piss Artiste
certainly aint me
maybe it's the wanker
we used to call Jim B.
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the joker

25th September 2009, 02:44
Liked your poem.Whatever has happened to JimB?
Conspicuous by his absence.
Anyway Trevor here is a story about that hypocrite
Bat Man.
Wonder Woman was sunbathing nude on the roof of her skyscraper when the Invisible Man flew over to see her.He dropped down and was lying on top of her when Bat Man flew over.
He looked down and saw Wonder Woman lying there,legs apart,and unable to resist,he swooped down on top of her.
Wonder Woman exclaimed"What the Hell was that!",and the Invisible Man said"I don't know,but it was ,bloody sore".
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