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Birthdays must be good for you. The more you have the longer you live.

Why don't kangaroos have breasts?

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ab/6c/9f/ab6c9f06937ded16229bd989db7ee87f.jpg

On Radio 4's World at One today a Leicester City was heard to proclaim "Didn't we do well!". The poser is, what did the fan actually do?

I have just been advised by an office colleague that I have a "grammatical condition" called Bangorrhea.

I am now trying to cure myself, but it is not easy (I nearly put 3 bangs there but stopped myself in time. Wow (stopped myself again)

https://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/style/2012/04/25/how-mail-and-texting-have-driven-people-overuse-exclamation-points-confessions-serial-exclamation-pointer/bSKe7sq0TEZLHcq1bq5A7M/story.html

I entered ten puns into a pun contest to see which pun would win.....
No pun in ten did

If you do a theatrical performance about puns it's just a play on words. (I resisted)

I resisted too, rossim

I just visited a site called conjunctivitis.com
its a sight for sore eyes

Why did the piece of Indian takeaway that I spilled the other night land on the white bit of my navy and white striped T-shirt?

@ rossim
It's a special case of Murphy's Law called "The law of selective gravity" - any object dropped will fall where it can do the most damage.