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celadon

29th May 2012, 10:23
Well dear friends, as the 'Poser' grinds to a halt through lack of posts, I have decided to finally!!! stop posting. Hope that this last post is of use to the faithful........


Very interesting and a must read to the end!


The man that sent this information is a computer tech. He spends a lot of time clearing the junk off computers for people and listens to complaints. All forwards are not bad, just some. Be sure you read the very last paragraph.
_________________________________________

He wrote:
By now, I suspect everyone is familiar with snopes.com and/or truthorfiction.com for determining whether information received via email is just that: true/false or fact/fiction. Both are excellent sites.


Advice from snopes.com VERY IMPORTANT!!


1) Any time you see an email that says "forward this on to '10' (or however many) of your friends", "sign this petition", or "you'll get bad luck" or "you'll get good luck" or "you'll see something funny on your screen after you send it" or whatever --- it almost always has an email tracker program attached that tracks the cookies and emails of those folks you forward to. The host sender is getting a copy each time it gets forwarded and then is able to get lists of 'active' email addresses to use in SPAM emails or sell to other Spammers. Even when you get emails that demand you send the email on if you're not ashamed of God/Jesus --- that is email tracking, and they are playing on our conscience. These people don't care how they get your email addresses - just as long as they get them. Also, emails that talk about a missing child or a child with an incurable disease "how would you feel if that was your child" --- email tracking. Ignore them and don't participate!


2) Almost all emails that ask you to add your name and forward on to others are similar to that mass letter years ago that asked people to send business cards to the little kid in Florida who wanted to break the Guinness Book of Records for the most cards. All it was, and all any of this type of email is, is a way to get names and 'cookie' tracking information for telemarketers and Spammers -- to validate active email accounts for their own profitable purposes.


You can do your Friends and Family members a GREAT favor by sending this information to them. You will be providing a service to your friends. And you will be rewarded by not getting thousands of spam emails in the future!

Do yourself a favor and STOP adding your name(s) to those types of listing regardless how inviting they might sound! Or make you feel guilty if you don't! It's all about getting email addresses and nothing more.


You may think you are supporting a GREAT cause, but you are NOT!


Instead, you will be getting tons of junk mail later and very possibly a virus attached! Plus, we are helping the Spammers get rich! Let's not make it easy for them!


ALSO: Email petitions are NOT acceptable to government or any other organization - e.g. Social security, etc. To be acceptable, petitions must have a "signed signature" and full address of the person signing the petition, so this is a waste of time and you are just helping the email trackers.
Pay special attention to the next bit of information.......
PLEASE delete ALL previous names from your emails before forwarding!!! Send emails to your entire address list BCC then everyone after you doesn't get your friend's email address.

Tips for Handling Telemarketers

Three Little Words That Work!!

(1)The three little words are: 'Hold On, Please...'

Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

Then when you eventually hear the phone company's 'beep-beep-beep' tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.

These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting..

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.

This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a 'real' sales person to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialled the call, and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer!!!

(3) Junk Mail Help:

When you get ads enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these ads with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.

When you get those 'pre-approved' letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope.

Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular postage, 'IF' and when they receive them back.

It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 60 cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.

One of Andy Rooney 's (60 minutes) ideas.

Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back!


If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them.

You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them 60 cents.

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice!

Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea!



THIS JUST MIGHT BE ONE E-MAIL THAT YOU WILL WANT TO FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS


1268 of 1953  -   Report This Post

phillip

2nd August 2012, 17:36
just to bring an old friend back...... yet another iffy joke.........

Today, my wife walked in on me and her sister having it off in front of a mirror.

I said "I know what it looks like..."
1269 of 1953  -   Report This Post

kilowatt

2nd August 2012, 18:53
The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.

He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others.
1270 of 1953  -   Report This Post

pastille

3rd August 2012, 14:21
Feel bad this brilliant thread got "lost" again...bringing it back to the top...

Post 1268 is heaven sent....as we have recently been plaughed by the silent phone call at bizarre times of the day....cant wait to try out the hash "thing".

Just popped on during a coffee break, but off out again.

I promise to pose a poser of the day soon...

welcome back Caleden...x
1271 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

4th August 2012, 18:02


This was written by a black gentleman in Texas and is so funny. What a great sense of humour...
And creative!!!


When U Black, U Black



When I was born, I was BLACK,
When I grew up, I was BLACK,
When I went in the sun, I stayed BLACK,
When I got cold, I was BLACK,
When I was scared, I was BLACK,
When I was sick, I was BLACK,
And when I die, I'll still be BLACK.

NOW, You 'white' folks......

When you're born, you're PINK,
When you grow-up, you're WHITE,
When you go in the sun, you get RED,
When you're cold, you turn BLUE,
When you're scared, you're YELLOW,
When you get sick, you're GREEN
When you bruise, you turn PURPLE,
And when you die, you look GREY.
So why y'all be callin' us
COLORED Folks?


1272 of 1953  -   Report This Post

kilowatt

4th August 2012, 19:56
It's good to see you are still on top form Celadon.
1273 of 1953  -   Report This Post

kilowatt

5th August 2012, 18:36
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
1274 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

6th August 2012, 08:39
Crazy Laws - Iowa
It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp.

A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.

One-armed piano players must perform for free.

In Indianola IO, the "Ice Cream Man" and his truck are banned.

In Fort Madison IO, the fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending a fire.

In Ottumwa IO, within the city limits, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.

In Marshalltown IO, Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants
1275 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

17th August 2012, 11:11
Crazy Laws - Kentucky
It's illegal to fish in the Ohio River in Kentucky without an Indiana Fishing License.

Any person who displays, handles or uses any kind of reptile in connection withany religious service or gathering shall be fined not less than fifty dollars ($50) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100).

All bees entering Kentucky shall be accompanied by certificates of health, stating that the apiary from which the bees came was free from contagious or infectious disease.

It is illegal for minors to play pool without signed permission from their parent or guardian.

It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky.

In Lexington KY, by law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."

In Lexington KY, it is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.

In Owensboro KY, a woman may not buy a hat without her husband's permission.
1276 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

6th September 2012, 10:03
The madam opened the brothel door in Inverness and saw a rather dignified,well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. "May I help you sir?" she asked. The man replied, "I want to see Suzy." "Sir, Suzy is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else" , said the madam. He replied, "No, I must see Suzy." Just then, Suzy appeared and announced to the man she charged £5000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand pounds and gave it to Suzy, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left. The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Suzy. Suzy explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive.. "There are no discounts. The price is still £5000." Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Suzy, and they went upstairs.After an hour, he left. The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night,but he paid Suzy and they went upstairs.After their session, Suzy said to the man, "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" The man replied, "Edinburgh." "Really," she said. "I have family in Edinburgh ." "I know.." the man said. "Your sister died, and I am her Lawyer she asked me to give you your £15,000 inheritance."

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer!


1277 of 1953  -   Report This Post