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The reason why its POLE POSITION is because 1 across is No 1 on the grid!

Ali Hakim is a character in the musical "Oklahoma" so OAK for 11A sounds reasonable

STAYED is the only word with the pattern ?T?Y?D according to the Solver on this site

For 5D "snog for many with this kind" (3) I have I?K
I think it's ILK but I don't know why

Good afternoon, Chantho.
The dots at the start of 5D suggest a link with 2,4D - if you take the letters of "snog for many" out of the answer to 2,4D, you are left with three letters - I, L, K.
Hoping this helps!
Akl Issner

Great!
Now I can't even type my own name correctly!
Al Issner

STAYED could be a reference back to AUNTIE for the Beeb - staid

Ali Hakim was a character - "A"
in Oklahoma! - "OK"

Finished now.

Thanks Al, I have 2D,4D so that explains it.

You're welcome, Chantho!