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This is a sort of vampire thread, isn't it? Every time you think it's dead, someone leaves the door open and it creeps out of the crypt.

Ah yes, but it's only a few who know where to look for it!

Maybe just like sanctuary in Logans Run (remember that?)

For Helena:-

Jonathan Ross has been accused of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Asda . Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take.


Police stop a Pakistani in his transit on the motorway. Policeman says "Do you know the limit is 70?" The driver leans into the back and says "hear that - 3 of you have got to get out".


4 illegal immigrants were suffocated in the back of a Tesco lorry last night. Every little helps.


Paddy & Mick stagger out of the zoo with blood pouring from them. "B*lls to that" said Paddy "that's the last time I go lion dancing"


63 Pakistanis died in Bradford this morning. It was not a terrorist attack, a bunk bed collapsed. The police are blaming AL IKEA .

Is Helena a fan of Bernard Manning?

Celadon: your Tesco lorry 'joke' is appalling - it's simply sick. You might think it funny but don't expect us to share/approve your way of thinking.

Yeah. Absolutely appalling. On a par with:

What's the difference between a dead Pakistani and a dead hedgehog on the motorway? Answer. There are no skid marks in front of the Pakistani.

I'm entirely with Robtherich on this one - bearingin mind that you have no idea Celadonof the nationality or ethnic background of anyone using this site - including Helena. And we thought Dawn was bad!

Thank you, anniec: I was beginning to think I'd stumbled on a chapter of the BNP.

These are not my jokes, just the most current ones that are circulating the WWW.