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Goodnight everyone?

Hi Countdown
whoever posts under the name \"?\" it sure aint me. I would rather be caught dead in dirty knickers than to be seen trying to keep this thread alive, ..Hell,I might not even post this post - that\'ll teach you!
up yours
trevor

ps, Hi JimB if that is you.

Sorry Terry, you are very wrong in your assumptions; I have never posted under any other guise(s).

It's only the hairs on a Gooseberry that stop it from being a Grape!

It's only the hairs on a Gooseberry that stop it from being a Grape!

It's deja vu all over again. You post a reply and nothing happens. You wait and wait, and finally decide your posting is lost forever, so you do it again. Then, both postings appear together and people think you're mad! Annoying, isn't it?

IDIOT SIGHTING #3


I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local town council office to request the removal of the "DEER CROSSING" sign on our road. She said the reason was: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

Story from Potters Bar, Herts, UK

My wife rang the Newsagent to complain most strongly (as is her wont) that the Sunday Newspaper had not been delivered.
"But, Madam" replied the Newsagent's Assistant, "To-day is Saturday, the Sunday papers do not come out until to-morrow".
There followed a long silence, until my wife sighed "So that is why there was no one in Church this morning".

While I was driving down the M4 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.

The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk, asked:

"Runway too short?"

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."

To which he asked, "What do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."


Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?"

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."



Speeding ticket: £105.00
Court costs: £45
Look on copper's face: Priceless.