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I remember old Maxim well. He'd bounce me on his knee as the samovar gurgled. Bounce, bounce. Varya would look across with her face afrown. Bounce bounce. Quicker and quicker. I never understood why he'd suddenly pass me to Varya and scuttle out of the room.

Acrouch?

Appallingly tall and awkward, that shmuck: Yefim used to call him Maxim Gawky...

Why don't ypu go for a Chekhov?

A Pedant interposes: might it be that the young 'uns don't know how to reach the exalted heights of the six hundreds-odd without mucho scrolling? Could be why we're starved of young (yum yum) blood... May Poseur live long and thrive.

Time for one of those explanatory notes?

I remember the old Maxim. The trouble is, I used up the last of its ammunition last Halloween, wiping out those damned Trick-or-Treaters. Does anyone know where I can get a belt?

John from A: very impressed with your view. From my window I can see a house full of women. Just my luck, it's a convent.

Bees, Take that telescope from your eye and don't get into the habit.
Colin

I ended up with an older woman at a club last night..

She looked OK for a 61 year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter.

We drank a bit, and had a bit of a snuggle, and then she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double.

'What's that?' I asked.

'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.

I said, 'No' - excitedly.

We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was 'my lucky night'.

I went back to her place.

She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs:




'Mum, you still awake?'

Oooh, you are awful - but I like it.

Charlie walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."

His wife is lying in bed and replies "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."

Charlie responds "I think you'll find that I wasn't talking to you."