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Nice one, John. How about this:-

The Australian Poetry Competition held in the Sydney Opera House had come down to two Finalists;

A) The university graduate.

B) An old aboriginal.

They were given a word, and then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a Short four line poem that contained the word.

The word they were given was ' TIMBUKTU '.

First to recite his poem was the university graduate.
He stepped to the microphone and said:


Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan
Men on camels two by two
Destination - Timbuktu .


The crowd went crazy! No way could the old aboriginal top that, they thought. The old aboriginal calmly made his way to the microphone and recited;

Me and Tim a huntin' went
Met three whores in a pop up tent
They were three, and we was two
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu .


The aboriginal won.

Good grief, are you lot still here? Surely you must have something better to do! That stuff about ducks not echoing is entirely fallacious (or is that something rude?). The theory isn't all it's quacked up to be. It must be getting near Halloween, judging by the all the old jokes that you are bringing back from the dead. You wouldn't catch me doing things like that

Hi Bees !

I think that you're right about old jokes etc...

... but, on further thought, I think that you're really also just another of the funny Bs that post here.

JimC

Did somebody say something about ducks.

Why do the bubbles in Guiness Beer sink to the bottom rather than float to the top like all other beers?

because it's Irish????

KK

Trying to raise "POSER" to avoid its relegation.
A couple,Margaret and Bert,moved to Texas.Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots,so seeing some in a sale he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly,he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife,"Notice anything different about me?"
Margaret looked him over."Nope!"
Frustrated,Bert stormed off into the bathroom,undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.
Again,he asked Margaret,a little louder this time,"Notice anything different NOW?"
Margaret looked up and exclaimed,"Bert,whats different?Its hanging down today,it was hanging down yesterday,it'll be hanging down tomorrow!"
Furious,Bert yelled,"And do you know why its hanging down,Margaret?"
"Nope",she replied.
" It's hanging down,because its looking at my new boots!!"
Without changing her expression,Margaret replied,"Shoulda bought a hat,Bert!Shoulda bought a hat!?

Computer Technology


Micro was a real-time operator and dedicated multi-user. His broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time-sharing.

One evening he arrived home just as the sun was crashing, and had parked his motorola 68000 in the main drive (he had missed the 5100 bus that morning), when he noticed an elegant piece of liveware admiring the daisy wheels in his garden. He thought to himself, "she looks user-friendly". "I'll see if she'd like an update tonight."

Mini was her name, and she was delightfully engineered with eyes like cobol and a prime mainframe architecture that set Micro's peripherals networking all over the place.

He browsed over to her casually, admiring the power of her twin, 32-bit floating point processors and enquired "how are you, honeywell?"

"Yes, I am well", she responded, batting her optical fibers engagingly and smoothing her console over her curvilinear functions.

Micro settled for a straight line approximation. "I'm stand-alone tonight", he said, "how about computing a vector to my base address? I'll output a byte to eat, and maybe we could get offset later on."

Mini ran a priority process for 2.6 milliseconds then transmitted 8k, "I've been dumped myself recently, and a new page is just what I need to refresh my disks. I'll park my machine cycle in your background and meet you inside." She walked off, leaving Micro admiring her solenoids and thinking, "Wow, what a global variable, I wonder if she'd like my firmware?"

They sat down at the process table to a top of form feed of fiche and chips and a bucket of baudot. Mini was in conversational mode and expanded on ambiguous arguments while Micro gave occasional acknowledgements although, in reality, he was analyzing the shortest and least critical path to her entry point. He finally settled on the old 'would you like to see my benchmark subroutine?' but Mini was again one
step ahead.

Suddenly she was up and stripping off her parity bits to reveal the full functionality of her operating system software. "Let's get basic,
you ram," she said. Micro was loaded by this stage, but his hardware policing module had a processor of it's own and was in danger of
overflowing its output buffer, a hang-up that Micro had consulted his analyst about. "core," was all he could say, as she prepared to log
him off.

Micro soon recovered, however, when Mini went down on the DEC and opened her divide files to reveal her data set ready. He accessed his fully packed root device and was just about to start pushing into her cpu stack, when she attempted an escape sequence.

"No, No!" she cried, " you're not shielded."

"Reset, baby", he replied, "I've been debugged."

"But I haven't got my current loop enabled, and I can't support child processes," she protested.

"Don't run away", he said, "I'll generate an interrupt."

"No that's too error prone, and I can't abort because of my design philosophy."

Micro was locked in by this stage though, and could not be turned off. But Mini soon stopped his thrashing by introducing a voltage spike
into his main supply, whereupon he fell over with a head crash and went to sleep.

"Micros", she thought as she compiled herself, "all they ever think of is hex."

What was your first computer?

Apart from a spectrum, mine was a BBC 32k micro

Mine was a Spectrum. I'm glad to see we're getting back to BASICs here; we don't want any old COBOLlers.