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I know it's an old one but I can't resist it.

What is the definition of a Scottish gentleman.
Somebody who can play the bagpipes but refrains from doing so.

I agree with you having been wakened up every morning at 6am for two years by bagpipes.
I believe that they are one instrument that sounds better the further away you are from it.
Joker

Bees

Welcome back from your couple of semaines en vacances. I am not sure if I should be flattered or horrified to note that you think I may be the poseur of the day.

However, I must insist, in the interest of political correctness, that in transmogrifying (what a wonderful word) the word Poser (question) into the word poseur (someone who strives to impress others), you don't lose sight of the feminine version, poseuse, a number of whom contribute to this forum and this particular thread (I'm so glad to note)

By the way, how are those delightful knees of yours?

Bees

Welcome back from your couple of semaines en vacances. I am not sure if I should be flattered or horrified to note that you think I may be the poseur of the day.

However, I must insist, in the interest of political correctness, that in transmogrifying (what a wonderful word) the word Poser (question) into the word poseur (someone who strives to impress others), you don't lose sight of the feminine version, poseuse, a number of whom contribute to this forum and this particular thread (I'm so glad to note)

By the way, how are those delightful knees of yours?

Hi JimB, (could we call you Jimbo?) There seems to be a terrible echo in here.
Knees are decrepit, thanks.

Bees

You may call me what you like as long as it's not too early, although in this case the real Jimbo may be non-too flattered

JimB

Something for the weekend:

Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness?

Or why do they always ask you when you get of the tube if you mind the gap -they do not change it.

Clue, "3D measure"

the answer must be something to do with shopping (not shops)

ie.
The usual way of things hesitation = custom er.(customer)-thanx to campo for that.

Donkey exists brown to cuppa = Ass-is-tan-t.

I ask again - 3D measure.

trevor
think in 3 parts

1 a solid figure
2 sound of a hiccoug
3 an old measure of cloth