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For the faithful:-

On a recent trip to the United States , Tony Blair, Ex. Prime Minister of the UK ,
addressed a major gathering of Native Americans.

He spoke for almost an hour on his plans for a CarbonTrading Tax for the UK and Europe

At the conclusion of his speech, the crowd presented him with a plaque
inscribed with his new Native American name - Walking Eagle.

A very chuffed Tony then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds..

A news reporter later asked one of the Native Americans how they came to select the new name given to Tony Blair

They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit that it can no longer fly.

Love it....


Not long back from rehearsals for a community play written by the fabulous Douglas Maxwell.

In it, I play a middle class "socialist". A couple of lines from tonight...

Me "I was on the picket lines in the 70s and the 80s. I marched against the Iraq wat in the noughties......and two years ago I started the Occupy St Andrews Movement!"

Pete "and what did you do in the nineties?

Me " I....I...eh...I voted for Tony Blair.........but that was an accident!"

So your post tonight seemed very pertinant.

Thank you x

IN a bid to encourage exercise, calorific food must now be sold in packaging that weighs at least 30kg.
According to new government rules, individual chocolate bars will be wrapped in blocks of solid steel. Simply removing a Twix from a shop shelf will require two people, and use four times as many calories as the bar contains.
Similarly, crisp packets will be encased in large concrete blocks with the flavour chiselled into the side.
Government health advisor Dr Emma Bradford said: “It is scientifically impossible to stop British people gorging on fatty foods, so we have harnessed that determination and turned it into a force for good.
“Opening the solid steel chocolate wrappers also requires the consumer to use an oxy-acetylene torch, thus encouraging them to develop the kind of practical skills British industry desperately needs.”
However, obese people are already trying to thwart the plan by attaching fork lifts to their mobility scooters. On arriving home they simply gnaw through the metal to the tasty chocolate within.
Confectionary fan Tom Logan said: “I’ve just picked up a Penguin and it’s given me a frigging hernia.
“Obesity is one thing, but what if the physical exertion kills me? If I’m going to die I want it to be as nature intended – slumped on a sofa in front of GMTV with my mouth full of Doritos.”

P.
Decky does a Bronco?

Yes...that very man. He lead a "writing for the stage" course last year that I really enjoyed.

Einstein was right
Albert Einstein:
"I fear the day when the technology overlaps with our humanity. The world will only have a generation of idiots."

If you are ever in IKEA.......

http://www.youtube.com/embed/9wm-Ge8LL7o?rel=0

You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:

10. You keep knocking on your own front door.

9. You remove your false teeth to change your appearance.

8. You ask for soft high fibre candy only.

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.

6. People say: 'Great Boris Karloff Mask,'
and you're not wearing one.

5. When the door opens you yell, 'Trick or...' and you can't remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that doesn't dislodge your hairpiece.


2. You're the only Power Ranger in the
neighbourhood with a walker.


1. You keep having to go home to pee.


No matter, have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN anyway.

Well...sitting here knee deep in tooth rotting sweeties, plus Halloween cupcakes....not one " guiser".


Jimmy Saville has got even more to answer for...

Off to have a gummy body part mmmwaahaha....

Crazy Laws - Missouri
It is not illegal to speed. (Repealed)

Buckner, in this small town of only 4,000, yard waste may be burned any day except Sunday.

In Kansas City MO, installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws is prohibited.

In Kansas City MO, Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely.

In Marceline MO, minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters.

In Marquette MO, it is illegal for more than four unrelated persons to occupy the same dwelling (The Brothel Law).

In Mole MO, frightening a baby is in violation of the law.

In Natchez MO, it shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.

In Purdy MO, dancing is strictly prohibited.

In St. Louis MO, It's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket.

In St. Louis MO, A milk man may not run while on duty.

In University City MO, Four women may not rent an apartment together.