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Ok Pastille, i'll revive it in the spirit it was always intended.......

A cat was sat by a river when it saw a 6 inch sausage floating by. The cat tried to grab it with its paw but missed. a few hours later a 10 inch sausage floated past, so the cat lunged at it to get it but missed. Another few hours later a 12 inch sausage floated past. The cat threw its whole body at the sausage and caught it...........
Moral of the story? The bigger the sausage, the wetter the pussy

Oooh you are so rude...

But thank you...need to remember a good one.

Until then...

A woman walked in to a bra...she was dyslexic!

p@

Well?...

Anybody?...

Who sang Tiger Feet?

Mud?


That's right, that's right.........

I like it...

sorry off to eat!

I wondered what had happened to this thread! It is where I 'met' everyone, way back when it was first posted. Your wit and erudition got me hooked on cryptics - not that I am very good at solving them, but I'm getting better all the time.

And now, a cautionary tale to illustrate why one should proof-read one's text messages before hitting 'send':

I was sitting at the airport, waiting for my plane. I texted a friend to say the flight had been delayed for a couple of hours. "oh dear," she replied, sympathetically. "I hope you have a good bonk!"

Hi Kiwikid...

Yes texting can be fickle...recently I received a text from a friend inviting me round for a glass of wind...

Sitting here in a trendy wine bar with a glass of chilled chardonnay, reading 'A la recherche du temps perdu' (it's by Proust, you know) on my cerise kindle, while on my iphone and Samsung Galaxy simultaneously to my stockbroker and the local Porsche dealer, but still can't think of a witticism to match those posted on here.

Can I still apply to be poseur of the day?

two of my favourite newspaper headlines. both from the Sun and both about football.

1. when germany beat england when their substitute scored the winning goal......

England sunk by kraut sub!


2. when caledonian thistle beat celtic.....

Super cally go ballistic celtic are atrocious.