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If you wake up in the morning and there's an apple in bed with you, does that mean you are Grandad Smith?
(Bees the obscure gets to the core of the matter, I hope it doesn't give you the pip).

Bees- most amusing ;-)
Found this out today:-
The average married woman in seventeenth-century America gave birth to thirteen children.
Maybe that is what they did for entertainment in the 17th century + both sexes must have had far too many cold showers or shared a cold tub until they became hot! Regards, Simon( going to have a cold shower right now)

Four men decide to buy a box of cigars that costs £30.
One man has no money so the other men all put in £10 each.
The man that had no money goes to the shop and buys the cigars, but they have been reduced to £25 in the sale. He pays for them and puts £5 in his pocket.

When he gets back to his friends he gives them all a £1 each change and keeps the other £2 for himself, (total £5 ). So in effect the 3 friends have all paid £9 each, (£10 - £1 paid back) which equals £27 and the other £2 he keeps for himself. Added up this makes £29 . Where is the other pound???

Remind me never to go shopping with you!! Forget the inconsequential waffle. He only keeps 2 pounds, 30-2 = 28. 28 divided by 3 = 9.333333 each.

There is no 'other' pound. The three men have paid out £27 (£9 each) for a £25 box of cigars and £2 tip for their friend.

Blessed are they who do not expect, for they shall not be disappointed.

I meant to ask earlier: What does flaming mean?
Bees The Innocent.
Ps If they've never caught you, do you still need to have the courage of your convictions?

celadon
£
three men paid 10.00 each
less refund 1.00 each
each paid 9.00
all total collected 27.00
less pocketed money 2.00
total paid for cigars 25.00

does that mean that the £1.00 you have left over belongs to me

A Celadon to the Highlands bound
Cries, 'Helena, do not tarry!
And I'll give thee a silver pound
To row me o'er the ferry.'

Remind me. Which crossword are we supposed to be solving?