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A thought for Sunday:
Can God change the past???
NIMROD

Q-What is the first symptom of AIDS?
A-A short, stabbing pain in the rectum.

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Yer wat, whack? (Scouse)

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

The three friends paid £9 each, total £27 of which the shopkeeper has £25 and the guy who went for the cigars the other £2.

Hi Celadon,
Dr Johnson made lots of mistakes in his dictionary and we've been stuck with a lot of them ever since. He changed spellings because he was a snob who wanted to make words look like they derived from Latin or Greek.
He perverted the etymon!

A Methodist preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."

With that, Tyrone got in line. When it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Tyrone, what do you want me to pray about for you?" 


Tyrone replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."   The preacher put one finger of one hand in Tyrone's ear, placed his other hand on top of Tyrone's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed.  He prayed a "blue streak" for Tyrone, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Tyrone, how is your hearing now?"

Tyrone answered, "I don't know, Man.  It ain't 'til next week."

Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

Ryan Giggs.what a career.
He's been in seven FA cup finals,five League cup finals,four Champions League finals...and one Big Brother quarter finalist!