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I think I got it. Was on the right track.

Hello rrrobbo,

90 degree symmetry. Thematically linked. Same direction (using the 90 degree symmetry). Different letters changed

So, I have two words plus I think a third, which I don't really like the s on the end, but fits. The fourth, well, does it end in s and rather define what the others are in terms of what they do? I suppose my third word could be one letter shorter than the other two - what makes us think they are all the same length?

Doh. Of course they have to be the same length. Sometimes I think the dumbest things...,,sorry.

Hmmm... I have three different word lengths which together describe the phrase/theme?

i just can't quite get there. My last word starts with s before any change. I can make one or two words that might fit, but they mess up two longish words. My other changes make proper words for all. Maybe i have something wrong. I can't parse 25d but crossers suggest the middle letters are not the same letter.......oh, maybe some sleep......

Awoke with inspiration at 5:54. I guess I just need to calm down a little and aford myself a little more thinking time. 8-)

rrobbo - I think you have contracted Listeneritis - once caught difficult to shake off.

Listeneritis. So that's what I have. Can't sleep, house is a mess. This crossword is driving me mad. Done everything needed, even got the four shapes (I think), but cannot see the words to change. Been looking for two days now. I assume they're all six letter words. Anyone give me a nudge where to start looking in the first shape. Either that or the name of a cleaner.

Hopefully your condition will improve once you have looked down the diagonals and found four dimensions (each with two letters that must be changed).