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syzygy

2nd August 2013, 03:09
Perhaps one of the sages can answer this fellow's question:

http://www.crosswordsolver.org/forum/361553/longest-tunnel
1416 of 1611  -   Report This Post

celadon

5th August 2013, 10:04
Correct ab. Well done.

Todays poser:-

Who served their guests tortoise, rat and mouse on toast?

The tunnel question - who actually knows?
1417 of 1611  -   Report This Post

kilowatt

5th August 2013, 10:11
William Buckland , Dean of Westminster. As you can probably guess, he was a bit eccentric.
1418 of 1611  -   Report This Post

rossim

5th August 2013, 10:22
It probably tasted ok as long as they didn't know what they were eating!
1419 of 1611  -   Report This Post

celadon

7th August 2013, 19:44
BONGOBONGOLAND last night insisted it has never received a penny in international aid.
The country’s president spoke out after UKIP MEP Godfrey Bloom claimed all of Britain’s £11bn aid budget was being sent to the small west African nation.
President Brian Inkatwe said: “We get by on our own. I think it’s because no-one actually believes we exist.
“I have written to the UN on several occasions asking them if they could give us advice on starting a rural banking scheme, but every time they write back and tell me that the phrase ‘Bongobongoland’ is horribly racist and that I should stop wasting their time.
“Some aid would be nice as our economy has suffered since Chinese factories started pumping out cut price bongos.”
Bongobongoland sits between Liberia and the Ivory Coast and was a British colony until 1959. When it was granted independence everyone in Britain assumed the news reports referred to the entire African continent.
President Inkatwe added: “Our neighbours in Liberia receive some aid money and as far as I can tell most of it does actually get spent on making people’s lives just a tiny bit better. Not as good as yours or Godfrey Bloom’s obviously, but just not horrible all the time.
“No doubt some of it gets siphoned off and spent on fancy sunglasses, but people are shits wherever you go.
“Except Britain of course. Everyone in Britain is just fucking brilliant.”
1420 of 1611  -   Report This Post

celadon

26th August 2013, 09:18
For those who have not seen this:-


For those of you who are old enough to remember, enjoy.
For the rest - it's a history lesson!!
Very surprising how time and memory has taken its toll.
Have things really changed this much in our time?
EATING IN THE UK IN THE FIFTIES

Pasta had not been invented.

Curry was a surname.

A takeaway was a mathematical problem.

A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower.

Bananas and oranges only appeared at Christmas time.

All crisps were plain; the only choice we had was whether to put the salt on or not.

A Chinese chippy was a foreign carpenter.

Rice was a milk pudding, and never, ever part of our dinner.

A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.

Brown bread was something only poor people ate.

Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking

Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.

Coffee was Camp, and came in a bottle.

Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.

Only Heinz made beans.

Fish didn't have fingers in those days.

Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sushi.

None of us had ever heard of yoghurt.

Healthy food consisted of anything edible.

People who didn't peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.

Indian restaurants were only found in India.

Cooking outside was called camping.

Seaweed was not a recognised food.

"Kebab" was not even a word never mind a food.

Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white gold.

Prunes were medicinal.

Surprisingly muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed.

Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever seen a picture of a real one.

Water came out of the tap, if someone had suggested bottling it and
charging more than petrol for it they would have become a laughing stock. The one thing that we never ever had on our table in the fifties .. was elbows!





1421 of 1611  -   Report This Post

kilowatt

26th August 2013, 11:08
Very true but I do remember curry from the early 1959's. An uncle of mine had been in the Indian Army.
1422 of 1611  -   Report This Post

syzygy

26th August 2013, 20:33
We also had curry in NZ in the early 50s.
It was the only way one could ingest that damn mutton.

Nice to have all those choices now, but good luck finding plain crisps.

Has poutine made it across the pond?
1423 of 1611  -   Report This Post

celadon

29th August 2013, 10:53
Alas, poutine has not yet arrived in Albion; had my first taste in the Windy City many years ago.

On another tack. From the D. M......

AFTER 40 years of mobile telephones, a Nokia with a broken screen has been declared the greatest ever.
Experts described the battered 2003 phone as ‘not taking any shit’, and ‘the only phone you’ve ever wanted to have a pint with’.
Telecoms analyst Martin Bishop said: “It’s got buttons, a speaker, the game ‘Snake’ plus you can drive a Panzer tank over the fucker and it still works.
“It is the best phone and really you want one with the screen a bit smashed up, because that gives it character.”
A panel of consumers, industry experts and technologists described all other phones as ‘a pile of crap’.
Mobile user Tom Logan said: “I got sucked into the whole iPhone bullshit thing, but really this works much better.
“Thinking about it, I was duped by clever marketing into thinking that owning a certain type of telecommunications device would make me cool. Is there anything more ridiculous?”
He added: “Also Snake is the best game ever. They use it to train astronauts to have faster reflexes.
“And you don’t have to pay more money to get a faster snake.”
1424 of 1611  -   Report This Post

celadon

6th September 2013, 15:04
From the DM:-

CHILDREN without a primary school place are being sent to live on an island without adult supervision.
Education secretary Michael Gove said text messages from the uncharted island showed arrivals were enjoying robust outdoor activities free from stifling health-and-safety regulations.
Gove said: “The children have already organised themselves into two groups, the Weak Little Piggies and the Skullface Comanche Hunters, probably in order to play traditional competitive sports.
“A coastguard pilot reported seeing cage-like structures on the beach, which are probably half-finished huts. He also saw a large game of cowboys and Indians going on, with children chasing each other across the island with homemade weapons.
“This is real Swallows and Amazons stuff. Last night they built an enormous bonfire and the screams of excitement could be heard on the mainland.”
Parent Donna Sheridan said: “I was mortified when our daughter Lucy couldn’t get into the local primary school, so thank God a place on the deserted island came up.
“We were worried she might not fit in, but when we spoke to her on the phone she said she was Chief Interrogator of the Flesh Eaters now, so it looks like we needn’t have worried!”
Father-of-two Tom Logan said: “I was a bit concerned when I got a text message from my son Kevin mentioning that the former school bully had been made into shoes.
“But at least he’s getting some exercise instead of sitting in front of that blasted X-Box playing violent video games.”
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