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26th August 2013, 09:18
For those who have not seen this:-

For those of you who are old enough to remember, enjoy.
For the rest - it's a history lesson!!
Very surprising how time and memory has taken its toll.
Have things really changed this much in our time?

Pasta had not been invented.

Curry was a surname.

A takeaway was a mathematical problem.

A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower.

Bananas and oranges only appeared at Christmas time.

All crisps were plain; the only choice we had was whether to put the salt on or not.

A Chinese chippy was a foreign carpenter.

Rice was a milk pudding, and never, ever part of our dinner.

A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.

Brown bread was something only poor people ate.

Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking

Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.

Coffee was Camp, and came in a bottle.

Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.

Only Heinz made beans.

Fish didn't have fingers in those days.

Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sushi.

None of us had ever heard of yoghurt.

Healthy food consisted of anything edible.

People who didn't peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.

Indian restaurants were only found in India.

Cooking outside was called camping.

Seaweed was not a recognised food.

"Kebab" was not even a word never mind a food.

Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white gold.

Prunes were medicinal.

Surprisingly muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed.

Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever seen a picture of a real one.

Water came out of the tap, if someone had suggested bottling it and
charging more than petrol for it they would have become a laughing stock. The one thing that we never ever had on our table in the fifties .. was elbows!

1421 of 1950  -   Report This Post


26th August 2013, 11:08
Very true but I do remember curry from the early 1959's. An uncle of mine had been in the Indian Army.
1422 of 1950  -   Report This Post


26th August 2013, 20:33
We also had curry in NZ in the early 50s.
It was the only way one could ingest that damn mutton.

Nice to have all those choices now, but good luck finding plain crisps.

Has poutine made it across the pond?
1423 of 1950  -   Report This Post


29th August 2013, 10:53
Alas, poutine has not yet arrived in Albion; had my first taste in the Windy City many years ago.

On another tack. From the D. M......

AFTER 40 years of mobile telephones, a Nokia with a broken screen has been declared the greatest ever.
Experts described the battered 2003 phone as ‘not taking any shit’, and ‘the only phone you’ve ever wanted to have a pint with’.
Telecoms analyst Martin Bishop said: “It’s got buttons, a speaker, the game ‘Snake’ plus you can drive a Panzer tank over the fucker and it still works.
“It is the best phone and really you want one with the screen a bit smashed up, because that gives it character.”
A panel of consumers, industry experts and technologists described all other phones as ‘a pile of crap’.
Mobile user Tom Logan said: “I got sucked into the whole iPhone bullshit thing, but really this works much better.
“Thinking about it, I was duped by clever marketing into thinking that owning a certain type of telecommunications device would make me cool. Is there anything more ridiculous?”
He added: “Also Snake is the best game ever. They use it to train astronauts to have faster reflexes.
“And you don’t have to pay more money to get a faster snake.”
1424 of 1950  -   Report This Post


6th September 2013, 15:04
From the DM:-

CHILDREN without a primary school place are being sent to live on an island without adult supervision.
Education secretary Michael Gove said text messages from the uncharted island showed arrivals were enjoying robust outdoor activities free from stifling health-and-safety regulations.
Gove said: “The children have already organised themselves into two groups, the Weak Little Piggies and the Skullface Comanche Hunters, probably in order to play traditional competitive sports.
“A coastguard pilot reported seeing cage-like structures on the beach, which are probably half-finished huts. He also saw a large game of cowboys and Indians going on, with children chasing each other across the island with homemade weapons.
“This is real Swallows and Amazons stuff. Last night they built an enormous bonfire and the screams of excitement could be heard on the mainland.”
Parent Donna Sheridan said: “I was mortified when our daughter Lucy couldn’t get into the local primary school, so thank God a place on the deserted island came up.
“We were worried she might not fit in, but when we spoke to her on the phone she said she was Chief Interrogator of the Flesh Eaters now, so it looks like we needn’t have worried!”
Father-of-two Tom Logan said: “I was a bit concerned when I got a text message from my son Kevin mentioning that the former school bully had been made into shoes.
“But at least he’s getting some exercise instead of sitting in front of that blasted X-Box playing violent video games.”
1425 of 1950  -   Report This Post


7th September 2013, 23:18
Good one !

Are these really from the Daily Mail? Quirky paper, but couldn't find a humour column per se.

Or do you paraphrase a promising article?
1426 of 1950  -   Report This Post


10th September 2013, 06:49
Hi syzygy, it is not the Daily Mail but another (underground) publication with the same initials.


*Our Phones ~ Wireless
*Cooking ~ Fireless
*Cars ~ Keyless
*Food ~ Fatless
*Tyres ~ Tubeless
*Dress ~Sleeveless
*Youth ~ Jobless
*Leaders ~Shameless
*Relationships ~ Meaningless
*Attitude ~ Careless
*Wives ~ Fearless
*Babies ~Fatherless
*Feelings ~ Heartless
*Education ~ Valueless
*Children ~ Mannerless

==Everything is becoming LESS = but still our hopes are ~ Endless.

I am ~ Speechless !
1427 of 1950  -   Report This Post


10th September 2013, 07:38
Bank accounts ~ Worthless ?
1428 of 1950  -   Report This Post


10th September 2013, 08:10
*Police Force ~ Boneless
*Magistrates ~ Gutless
*Criminals ~ Blameless
*Issues ~ Ceaseless
*Political correctness ~ Humourless
*Gender ~ Sexless
* An opinion ~ Pointless
* Me ~ Clueless
* Poser of the day ~ Priceless !!!
1429 of 1950  -   Report This Post


11th September 2013, 10:19
Love them Busby.

Just come across this in my local bordello........

THE new iPhone 5S uses state-of-the-art fingerprint technology to frame its owners for murder. It can also blackmail you into buying more Cloud storage
The device will leave prints and DNA at crime scenes if the owner has failed to meet Apple’s high standards for iPhone ownership.
The phone’s built-in JudgMe app collects data about its owners’ treatment of their iPhone, rates them on a moral scale developed by Apple and can condemn them to a lifetime behind bars.
Apple CEO Tim Cook, speaking at the launch event, said: “We’re rightly known for our focus on the user experience, but all too frequently I see users who don’t repay that trust.
“I see cracked screens, scratched aluminium backs, and iPhone owners who talk openly about their interest in the Samsung Note 3 with their iPhone right there in front of them, hearing every hurtful, traitorous word.
“Well, that ends today. The new iPhone, using your fingerprints, your DNA, and faking records of your movements and communications, can put you on the scene of a triple slaying so efficiently that even OJ’s defence team couldn’t get you off.”
Technology blogger Carolyn Ryan said: “I downloaded a non-proprietary web browser and Google Maps to my new iPhone 5S, breaking my terms of service, and within 24 hours there was video of me kidnapping and executing my brother-in-law right there in the iCloud.
“That’s the Apple magic – it just works.”
Cook, who concluded his presentation by breathing hard on a new iPhone and shattering its screen, seemed set to leave the stage when he turned to the audience and said: “There is one more thing.”
The crowd then cheered wildly as detectives arrived on stage to arrest him for the murder of Steve Jobs.
1430 of 1950  -   Report This Post