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pastille

3rd August 2012, 14:21
Feel bad this brilliant thread got "lost" again...bringing it back to the top...

Post 1268 is heaven sent....as we have recently been plaughed by the silent phone call at bizarre times of the day....cant wait to try out the hash "thing".

Just popped on during a coffee break, but off out again.

I promise to pose a poser of the day soon...

welcome back Caleden...x
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celadon

4th August 2012, 18:02


This was written by a black gentleman in Texas and is so funny. What a great sense of humour...
And creative!!!


When U Black, U Black



When I was born, I was BLACK,
When I grew up, I was BLACK,
When I went in the sun, I stayed BLACK,
When I got cold, I was BLACK,
When I was scared, I was BLACK,
When I was sick, I was BLACK,
And when I die, I'll still be BLACK.

NOW, You 'white' folks......

When you're born, you're PINK,
When you grow-up, you're WHITE,
When you go in the sun, you get RED,
When you're cold, you turn BLUE,
When you're scared, you're YELLOW,
When you get sick, you're GREEN
When you bruise, you turn PURPLE,
And when you die, you look GREY.
So why y'all be callin' us
COLORED Folks?


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kilowatt

4th August 2012, 19:56
It's good to see you are still on top form Celadon.
1273 of 1651  -   Report This Post

kilowatt

5th August 2012, 18:36
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
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celadon

6th August 2012, 08:39
Crazy Laws - Iowa
It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp.

A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.

One-armed piano players must perform for free.

In Indianola IO, the "Ice Cream Man" and his truck are banned.

In Fort Madison IO, the fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending a fire.

In Ottumwa IO, within the city limits, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.

In Marshalltown IO, Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants
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celadon

17th August 2012, 11:11
Crazy Laws - Kentucky
It's illegal to fish in the Ohio River in Kentucky without an Indiana Fishing License.

Any person who displays, handles or uses any kind of reptile in connection withany religious service or gathering shall be fined not less than fifty dollars ($50) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100).

All bees entering Kentucky shall be accompanied by certificates of health, stating that the apiary from which the bees came was free from contagious or infectious disease.

It is illegal for minors to play pool without signed permission from their parent or guardian.

It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky.

In Lexington KY, by law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."

In Lexington KY, it is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.

In Owensboro KY, a woman may not buy a hat without her husband's permission.
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celadon

6th September 2012, 10:03
The madam opened the brothel door in Inverness and saw a rather dignified,well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. "May I help you sir?" she asked. The man replied, "I want to see Suzy." "Sir, Suzy is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else" , said the madam. He replied, "No, I must see Suzy." Just then, Suzy appeared and announced to the man she charged £5000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand pounds and gave it to Suzy, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left. The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Suzy. Suzy explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive.. "There are no discounts. The price is still £5000." Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Suzy, and they went upstairs.After an hour, he left. The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night,but he paid Suzy and they went upstairs.After their session, Suzy said to the man, "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" The man replied, "Edinburgh." "Really," she said. "I have family in Edinburgh ." "I know.." the man said. "Your sister died, and I am her Lawyer she asked me to give you your £15,000 inheritance."

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer!


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bees

7th September 2012, 14:16
I loved the comment from Gabby Logan during the Olympics when a (Chinese?) table-tennis player with a strange name got upset when she was deducted penalty points by the umpire: "There's been a ding-dong in the ping-pong with Ding Ning". How I wish I could write witty stuff like that! (I know it was a long time ago, but I have a lot of video to catch up on).
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celadon

10th September 2012, 12:06
Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.
1279 of 1651  -   Report This Post

celadon

11th September 2012, 07:27
Crazy Laws - Louisiana
It is illegal to gargle in public places.

It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."

In New Orleans, it illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is waving a flag in front of it.

In New Orleans, you may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.
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