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celadon

10th January 2013, 18:23
Happy New Year to all; and thank you Kilowatt: excellent anagrams.


Two Indian junkies accidently snorted curry powder instead of cocaine. Both in hospital...one's in a korma.. The other's got a dodgy tikka!

They shall get better....
1321 of 1517  -   Report This Post

kilowatt

10th January 2013, 20:02
What will get better, the jokes or the patients?
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celadon

11th January 2013, 15:31
K. The jokes.

Crazy Laws - New Jersey
It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.

You may not slurp your soup.

If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.

It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.

Automobiles are not to pass horse drawn carriages on the street.

It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.

In Bernards Township NJ, it is illegal to frown as the town is a "Frown-Free Town Zone".

In Caldwell NJ, you may not dance or wear shorts on the main avenue.

In Elizabeth NJ, it is forbidden for a woman, on a Sunday, to walk down Broad Street without wearing a petticoat.

In Manville NJ, it is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals a the local zoo.

In Newark NJ, it is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note from his doctor.

In Ocean City NJ, raw hamburger may not be sold.

In Sea Isle City NJ, there will be no boiling of bones on the property.

In Trenton NJ, pickles are not to be consumed on Sundays.

In Trenton NJ, you may not throw a bad pickle in the street.
1323 of 1517  -   Report This Post

pastille

11th January 2013, 18:51
Happy New year Caleden ...nice to see you are still amusing us...long may it continue. X

...and Kilowatt, brilliant anagrams, have some of those from an old DODO diary.

The long ones are just amazing.....x
1324 of 1517  -   Report This Post

kilowatt

11th January 2013, 19:12
Glad you liked them Pastille. Most of them were not my own work, I just collated them from various sources.
1325 of 1517  -   Report This Post

celadon

12th January 2013, 23:49
DRIVERS NOTE! Motion Induced Blindness

In a motor accident, wherein a speeding car hits a slower moving vehicle coming from the side, the speeding car drivers often swear that they just didn’t see the vehicle coming from the left or right.
Well, they aren’t lying. They really don’t see the vehicle coming from the side, in spite of broad daylight. This phenomenon on the car drivers’ part is known as “Motion Induced Blindness”. It is definitely frightening.

Once airborne, pilots are taught to alternate their gaze between scanning the horizon and scanning their instrument panel, and never to fix their gaze for more than a couple of seconds on any single object. They are taught to continually keep their heads on a swivel and their eyes always moving. Because, if you fix your gaze on one object long enough while you yourself are in motion, your peripheral vision goes blind.

Till about three decades ago, this “heads on swivel & eyes moving” technique was the only way to spot other aircraft in the skies around. Now-a-days they have on-board radars, but the old technique still holds good.

Let me give you a small demonstration of motion induced blindness. Just click on the link below. You will see a revolving array of blue crosses on a black background. There is a flashing green dot in the centre and three fixed yellow dots around it. If you fix your gaze on the green dot for more than a few seconds, the yellow dots will disappear at random . . . , either singly, or in pairs, or all three together. In reality, the yellow dots are always there. Just watch the yellow dots for some time to ensure that they don’t go anywhere!

http://www.msf-usa.org/motion.html

(You can alter the background colour or the rpm of the array by clicking the appropriate buttons. Notes given by the author below the rotating array are educative.)

So, if you are driving at a high speed on a highway and if you fix your gaze on the road straight ahead, you will not see a car, a scooter, a buggy, a bicycle, a buffalo or even a human being approaching from the side. Now reverse the picture. If you are crossing a road on foot and you see a speeding car approaching, . , there’s a 90% chance that the driver isn’t seeing you, because his/her peripheral vision may be blind! And you may be in that blind zone!!
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kilowatt

13th January 2013, 08:48
I like to think I am observant when driving but I will certainly be more aware of what might be happening to the side of me.
1327 of 1517  -   Report This Post

celadon

13th January 2013, 15:09
Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Years Riots....Your One Year Manufacturer’s Warranty Runs Out Soon.
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celadon

14th January 2013, 10:57
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche...
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kilowatt

14th January 2013, 12:42
Celadon, the jokes are not getting better, but keep them coming anyway.
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