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I love my vinyl too. I've been lusting after a new turntable, A Monarch, which I saw in a Hi Fi magazine. I've been saving my pennies. I dropped the broadest of hints to my better half about imminence of a certain person's birthday, and the need for updating the sound system, and it was like talking to Van Gogh; it went in one ear and stayed there...
I sang with a rock'n'roll band for all of four gigs.
Did you hear about the skiffle player who went into a music shop and said, "The sign in your window says you do part exchange for instruments."
"Yes, sir, we do."
"Well, I'd like to exchange this for a guitar."
I'm sorry, sir, we draw the line at washboards."
I've started another hare over Cryptic 1143, 22dn.

You will have to give some stronger hints to your other half. My turntable is connected to a Sony Hi-fi with good speakers.
I like your joke.
We have quite a few musicians on this forum, including a drummer, organist, pianist, sousaphone player, and clarinetist ....oh and of course, Tea chest Bass player!
This joke is from one of the drummers: on the forum:

"How can you tell it's a drummer knocking at your front door ?"
He doesn't know when to come in....

(bit of an insult to drummers I think :)

Perhaps we should start up a Forum band.

Good afternoon Jazzgirl, That joke goes straight into my gag book!
A mate of mine swore he was at a gig, years ago, when a chap came up to the bandstand and said to the trumpeter, "Do you play requests?"
"Sure. What do you want to hear?"
"Skin Deep."
I was talking to someone once who asked me if I played anything, and I said, bashfully, "Well....clarinet."
My teacher, standing behind me said, "Oh no you don't, you just own one." End of my dreams of being a clarinet player.
If we start a Forum band I bags being the booking agent.
PS I still own a clarinet.