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Maybe they can sell T-shirts:

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/62858730/T-shirt%20Yoda%20stupid%20df20050519.jpg

http://www1.whdh.com/news/articles/local/south/12004703641912/dcr-closes-30-pools-after-woman-found-dead-in-fall-river/

I think Torque nailed it.

They all sound like immigrants from the Ozarks.

The boyfriend didn't miss her either!?

That's what I found particularly odd at the time, that the people she lived with didn't seem too fazed by her absence. Perhaps they didn't realize she was gone till the reporters knocked at their door.

I was right! Terminal stupidity. The clues are:

1. People in a pool that was too cloudy to see anything - who wouild swim in that?

2. Lifeguards that allow such a pool to be used.

3. A non-swimmer who plays at the deep end of a 12' deep pool.

4. Witnesses who see a victim go under and not come back up, yet do nothing and don't tell the lifeguards.

5. Companions who don't think anything of someone going missing at a swimming pool.

6. Pool management that doesn't check the pool is empty when it closes and that allows a polluted pool to be open to the public (even a public as lacking in discrimination as that in Fall River).

If it weren't so tragic it would be great comedy.

I think the "best" part is that it passed a couple of state inspections with a corpse in it. You have an unfair advantage, Torkie- the objectivity of an outsider. You might think of yourself as "a Portuguese".

Re-reading that report I'm beginning to wonder if the cloudiness was actually caused by the corpse.

I think an international investigation is called for; I'll put in a good word for you. After all, who knows more about untimely demise than a Propagator of the Faith?

I'd be happy to help, but the presence of all that water isn't conducive to getting the best from my preferred methods.

And while you're over here you can make a side trip to Detroit to try to sell your car idea- for the fuel-efficient Auto-da-fe (what kind of combustion was it again?).