Just on for a quick moan, so anyone who only wants to talk about crosswords should look away now.
Over the years, I have built up quite a reputation with my skills in assembling flat pack furniture. If you would like your unit built upside down, back to front or inside out, then look no further. I have been sent to your aid.
Mrs P is less than impressed with my capabilities, although I find it difficult to understand why. She decided to order a chest of drawers which, the advert promised would not be flat pack. It would come ready assembled and would be placed in the room of your choice. All very well, except I had to help the carrier humf it upstairs, which I do not do very well. I was walking backward, at about half the speed of the other guy, so ended up sitting on the stair with the unit on my lap.
Eventually, the chest of drawers was put into place, and all I had to do was to fit the drawer handles, which I achieved without gouging a hole in the unit with my screwdriver. I went downstairs to await the return of Mrs P, and to collect my Brownie points. She was grateful and proud of me for being so efficient.
Much later, as we readied ourselves for bed, Mrs P looked at my workmanship for the first time. It was only then she realised that the new item of furniture was brown, and since the rest of our bedroom furniture is white, she said I should not have accepted delivery. Is this fair? Is brown not the new white? Should I have known that she did not order brown so that there might be contrasting colours in the room.
I have spent the last half hour, removing drawer handles, and parcelling the offending item in as much cling film and gaffer tape as I could find.
Tea and sympathy, please.
P