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celadon

2nd July 2015, 05:49
Nice one busby.

..................................

ENGLISH men are not as good at playing football as English women, it has been confirmed.

As the England women reached the World Cup semi-finals – a feat not achieved by their male counterparts for 25 years – English men must now defer to ladies on anything to do with football.

Fan Martin Bishop said: “I’ve spent my whole life deriding women’s football, but it is now an undeniable fact that they are better at it than we. I suppose I feel cheated.”

He added: “Now, before I tweet an opinion about the latest transfer news for example, I have to run it past my wife and daughter first.

“So far they have been dismissive and rather mean.”

FA Chairman Greg Dyke said: “For English teams, competing in major tournaments is all about trying to wipe out years of ‘hurt’.

“As our best national side right now, the Lionesses must shoulder the burden of the men’s 49 years of hurt, as well as their own 24 years of hurt.

“That’s a grand total of 73 years of hurt which will be instantly eradicated if they actually win this thing.

“No pressure.”
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busby

6th July 2015, 09:09
BBC News : Greek voters reject bailout offer.
For Sale : One extra large bucket, unused.
1782 of 1953  -   Report This Post

busby

6th July 2015, 09:27
I've got viagraphobia...
I'm scared stiff!!!
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celadon

6th July 2015, 20:53
Thank you Bernie for the kind comments in your post.

__________________________________________________


After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find that the Titanic's swimming pool was still full.

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celadon

7th July 2015, 08:01
Probably the quote of the decade, from Yanis Varoufakis

"Greece is absolutely, irreversibly, committed to staying in the eurozone. The problem is that once you're in, it goes just like the Eagle's song 'Hotel California' - you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."
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chrisg

7th July 2015, 08:46
The EU has just announced that in future all Euro notes will be printed on Greece proof paper
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bernie

7th July 2015, 11:58
I asked my Doctor's receptionist if there was any chance of seeing the doctor today, she asked what it was about, I said it was concerning my asthma, she replied "Don't hold your breath!"
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celadon

8th July 2015, 00:04

Male or Female?
You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:
FREEZER BAGS:
They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
PHOTOCOPIERS:
These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.
They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.
TYRES:
Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over-inflated
HOT AIR BALLOONS:
Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.
SPONGES:
These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGES:
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
TRAINS:
Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
EGG TIMERS:
Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS:
Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL:
Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons
to push, he just keeps trying.

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celadon

9th July 2015, 17:34
**Statistic of the Week: The Chinese military is currently building 41,800 unmanned military aircraft. By comparison, the US military only operates 7,000 UAV’s and 8,500 manned military aircraft.
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celadon

11th July 2015, 08:27
You will only encounter this once in your lifetime:-

August, in 2015, will have 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays. This happens only once every 823 years. The Chinese call it ' Silver pockets full'.
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