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Haha, ab.

The total cost of the Millennium Dome, now reckoned to be about £1billion http://www.propertyforum.com/property-in-the-uk/212-the-rise-and-fall-of-the-o2-arena-formerly-known-as-the-millennium-dome.html
Would have paid for several hospitals and schools (or paid off a tiny bit of our national debt) and I doubt very much if it will last even 60 years.

Last year we had a garden wall built. It was a job well done.
Will it last for 60 years? I don't care as I won't be here!
However, it did keep a young self-employed young man with a growing family in work for a week.

A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband.

Now, he was slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.

When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side.

"You know what"?

"What dear?” she asks gently.

"I think you bring me bad luck."

Celadon, you will probably get pilloried, or worse, for that.
Good one.

I made my girlfriend's dreams come true and married her in a castle. You wouldn’t have thought it though from the miserable look on her face as we were bouncing around!

Must have been expensive, with inflation the way it is these days.

Don't you ever let her down!

It's my 35th wedding anniversary this year. It only seems like yesterday, I wish it was tomorrow......I'd cancel it!

Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one but after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maids outfit, and a police woman's uniform, he finally decided if she can't hold down a job, she's not for him.

Why do parents come out of baby change rooms with the same one?