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Yes I did Susan, thank you.

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

Susan, Moses didn't wear a wig. He drew lots of little rabbits on his head, from a distance they looked like hares!

As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold.

I nodded knowingly. “It’s the early signs of typothermia.”

How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?

Do they bother to?

As many as possible, because........many hands make light work!

My wife accused me of being immature.

I told her to get out of my fort.

When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau.

BIRMINGHAM has become the UK’s first all-Klingon city.

The transition was complete as the last non-Klingon emerged from a public lavatory and was then placed in a laser-cannon and fired into the upper atmosphere.

The city’s name has been changed to ‘Arkmapnak’ and its promotional slogan is now ‘Kirk Marap Koobanak’, which means ‘Kirk molested a spaniel’.

Balak Goprak, the leader of the city council, said: “I challenge you now, Kirk. Come to Arkmapnak, if you have the courage.”

Asked how the city will address complaints over refuse collection timetables, Goprak replied: “Kirk, you and your decrepit comrades will beg for mercy as I wield the Triple Axe of Charkogdok.”

Meanwhile, the city’s football teams have been incinerated and the National Exhibition Centre is now home to the deadly Klingon sport of Pang-Pong.

Hospital Chart Bloopers

1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.