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Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?

I assume that you are referring to golf, celadon



A friend refers to the sport as "swish****it"

There is a certain beauty in the vernacular Chrise.

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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Any more?

Secretaries defiled! Hope you continue putting a smile on everyone's face celadon.

Workers deployed? Though it does seem like a contradiction!

Celadon deposed!

James Brown defunct. (de-funked)

Prostitutes delayed.

A ventriloquist is telling Irish jokes in a pub, when an irate Irishman stands up.

"You're making out we're all dumb and stupid. I oughta punch you in the nose."

"I'm sorry sir. I..."

"Not you," says the Irishman. "I'm talking to that little fella on your knee."

THE Guardian has launched an investigation into why people choose to have breakfast at Wetherspoon’s.

The paper believes it has identified a ‘fascinating and disturbing socio-economic trend’ involving millions of ordinary people paying £2.99 for bacon and eggs.

The investigation explores the troubling reasons why consumers do not eat somewhere else, or pay more than they need to for a plate of food.

Tom Logan, a Wetherspoon’s customer in Peterborough, said: “A reporter sat down next to me, without my permission, and asked me why I felt forced to do what I was doing.

“I told him it was half past eight in the morning and that I’m eating. And then I told him to f*** off.”

Jane Thompson, from Stevenage, added: “I told the reporter that it’s £2.99 and it’s on my way to work. He said that was absolutely fascinating and disturbing.

“And then I told him to f*** off.”