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...thanks celadon - and please tell me you got my little jokette about Moses, his wig and going around with Aaron! Have fun!

Yes I did Susan, thank you.

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

Susan, Moses didn't wear a wig. He drew lots of little rabbits on his head, from a distance they looked like hares!

As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold.

I nodded knowingly. “It’s the early signs of typothermia.”

How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?

Do they bother to?

As many as possible, because........many hands make light work!

My wife accused me of being immature.

I told her to get out of my fort.

When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau.

BIRMINGHAM has become the UK’s first all-Klingon city.

The transition was complete as the last non-Klingon emerged from a public lavatory and was then placed in a laser-cannon and fired into the upper atmosphere.

The city’s name has been changed to ‘Arkmapnak’ and its promotional slogan is now ‘Kirk Marap Koobanak’, which means ‘Kirk molested a spaniel’.

Balak Goprak, the leader of the city council, said: “I challenge you now, Kirk. Come to Arkmapnak, if you have the courage.”

Asked how the city will address complaints over refuse collection timetables, Goprak replied: “Kirk, you and your decrepit comrades will beg for mercy as I wield the Triple Axe of Charkogdok.”

Meanwhile, the city’s football teams have been incinerated and the National Exhibition Centre is now home to the deadly Klingon sport of Pang-Pong.