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bees

8th October 2014, 17:49
I don't know about synonyms. For years I've been wondering if E.T. has a homophone.
1602 of 1953  -   Report This Post

rossim

8th October 2014, 22:00
We talk of drinkies........why not eaties?
1603 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

10th October 2014, 10:33
I decided to stop calling the toilet the John and renamed it the Jim.
I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning!
1604 of 1953  -   Report This Post

busby

10th October 2014, 11:12
So does that "fit" in with feeling "flushed"?
1605 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

12th October 2014, 16:55
Always at your convenience Busby.


IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
1606 of 1953  -   Report This Post

bernie

12th October 2014, 22:00
.......or mass suicide?
1607 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

15th October 2014, 06:34
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.

"Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms, all you could hear was slap, slap, click."

"Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle."

"What was the jingle?" asked the first. "Oh," replied the other offhand, "just our medals."
1608 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

17th October 2014, 06:42
A new employee calls the help desk to complain that there's something wrong with her password.

"The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," she says.

"Those asterisks are there to protect you," the help desk technician explains. "So, if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password."

"Yeah," she says, "but they show up even when there isn't anyone standing behind me."
1609 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

22nd October 2014, 10:06
Men are the best people to share your secret with.

They won’t tell anyone because they probably weren’t even listening to you.
1610 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

23rd October 2014, 19:41
A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."

God replied, "Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind."

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, "God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

God replied - "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
1611 of 1953  -   Report This Post